Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph illustrates a timeline of 60 years to showcase the economy development of US regarding four sectors of jobs (in millions) - manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. A cursory glance at the graph can help understanding the features stated here with a brief comparison.
Starting from 1960, the healthcare section has gradually improved in its sector, whereas the manufacturing sector has shown a drastic decreasement. The agriculture industry initially had shown a substantial decline towards the timeline of [redacted phone] but then had hold a stable position. After that the graph dropped slowly. The job opportunities in retail industry has shown an amazing growth sharply for 40 years at a straight and then started to have a gradual improvement.
Overall, the four different job areas have faced fluctuations in providing job opportunities in US over the period of time. Some of them have pointed significant surging while the others have dropped slightly.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
You identify several relevant trends, including healthcare’s rise, agriculture’s decline and later stability, and retail’s growth. However, the account is only partially developed: it gives no figures and misses key comparisons, especially that manufacturing peaked at about 20 million in 1980 before falling, while retail and healthcare both reached roughly 16 million by 2020. The manufacturing trend is also misreported as a “drastic decreasement” from 1960, although it first increased. The overview is vague, saying some sectors surged and others dropped, without clearly summarising which sectors ended highest or lowest. To strengthen the response, report the main turning points and endpoint comparisons accurately, using selected figures to support them.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph describing trends, and a concluding overview. The sequence from 1960 onward gives the reader some sense of time, and linking expressions such as “whereas,” “After that,” and “Overall” help connect ideas. However, the progression is not consistently clear because several sector trends are compressed into one paragraph, and references such as “After that” do not make clear which sector is being discussed. The final overview largely repeats general statements rather than bringing the comparisons together. Use separate, logically grouped descriptions—for example, rising sectors and declining sectors—and make each sentence’s subject explicit.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
You use a reasonable range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “gradually improved,” “substantial decline,” “stable position,” and “gradual improvement.” These attempts show some flexibility, and the intended meaning is generally understandable. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for this task: “economy development,” “decreasement,” “had hold a stable position,” and “at a straight” do not express the trends idiomatically. “Amazing growth” is also too subjective for an academic report. Prefer precise, conventional terms such as “economic development,” “declined,” “remained stable,” and “rose steadily.” More accurate collocations would make the description clearer and more appropriately formal.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt a mix of sentence forms, including a contrast structure with “whereas” and a time sequence using “After that.” The main ideas can usually be followed, but some grammatical errors affect clarity. For example, “has gradually improved” and “has shown” use present perfect where the completed period calls for past simple; “had hold” has an incorrect verb form; and “the job opportunities … has shown” has subject–verb disagreement. The sentence beginning “Starting from 1960” also leaves its subject unclear. Practise consistent past-tense reporting and check agreement and verb forms. Clearer sentence construction, with each sector named as the subject, would help you express the trends more accurately.
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