Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

this graph illustrate job availability in four sectors of economy over the period of 60 years.

Overall jobs in manafucturing section were maximun as compared to all other sector initially .nevertheless, it grew in comensing years and reached to its maximum and then fell steadily.incontrast healthcare sactor which was having least job oppertunities intially among all ,rose and even overtake manafecturing sector finally.

It is evident from the graph that the number of jobs were approximately 15million in manafuturing in 1960 which was the highest among all sector in that year..it demonstrated growth in following years and reached to peak in 1980 to about 20millions .This was the greatest of jobs in any sector in any year on the graph shown..However, following 1980t o 2020 it experienced a steady decline and cut down to about less then 15 million in 2020.On the contarary ,healthcare and retail grew over the time. Healthcare had the least number of jobs in 1960 of about 2 millionn.Nevertheless,it gained pace and rose,overshadowed the the most most job sector and shared the title of most job in 2020,of around 15million with retail sector.Retait sector was too on the lower side of jobs available with aroud 6million jobs in 1960.Likewise health care,it gained pace sebsequently and became the most job sector in 2020.

among the other professions, agricultural jobs declined over the years and became almost none in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main patterns accurately: manufacturing starts highest, peaks in 1980, then declines, while healthcare and retail rise and agriculture falls. The overview also notes that healthcare catches up with retail by 2020, which is a key comparison. Most figures are broadly consistent with the chart, including manufacturing at about 15 million initially and 20 million in 1980. To make the account more complete, report the final values more precisely: manufacturing is about 13 million, while retail and healthcare are both around 16 million, rather than “less than 15” and “around 15.” Agriculture does not become “almost none”; it falls to about 2 million. The main features are covered, but some details are imprecise or underdeveloped.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overview followed by a paragraph describing the sector trends, and contrasts such as “On the contrary” help signal comparisons. However, progression within the main paragraph is difficult to follow because several series are discussed in long, crowded sentences, and the final agriculture point is separated without being developed. Linking expressions are sometimes repetitive or awkward, including repeated uses of “Nevertheless” and “Likewise.” Organise the details into clearer groups—for example, manufacturing and agriculture, then retail and healthcare—and use concise transitions to show how the trends compare. This would make the overall arrangement easier to follow and reduce the impression of ideas being added one after another.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of trend vocabulary, including “reached to its maximum,” “steady decline,” “gained pace,” and “overshadowed,” so the response is not limited to basic descriptions. However, spelling and word-choice problems are frequent and sometimes make the meaning less clear: “manafucturing,” “oppertunities,” and “sactor” recur, while “cut down” is not a natural description of a falling job total. Some phrases are also imprecise, such as “most job sector” and “almost none.” Use standard sector names consistently and choose precise collocations for chart trends. Proofreading spelling and avoiding repeated or unsuitable expressions would make your vocabulary more reliable and easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You make some attempts at complex sentences, for example, contrasting manufacturing with healthcare using “nevertheless” and describing changes over time. However, control is uneven: the opening “this graph illustrate” has subject–verb disagreement, and several sentences lack clear sentence boundaries or punctuation, such as the overview beginning “Overall jobs…” and the long sentence starting “Nevertheless, it gained pace…”. There are also problems with articles, plurals, and sentence construction, including “the number of jobs were” and “the greatest of jobs.” These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas harder to follow. Build shorter, complete sentences first, then add subordinate clauses, checking agreement, articles, and punctuation.

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