Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates information about the number of jobs across four sectors of the economy in the US by 1960 to 2020

Overall,it is clear that Manufacturing was the most popular sector of the economy ,While ,Agriculture remained the least proportion.Although manufacturing sector increased steadily ,it remained declined over the following year.The figure for retail and healthcare grew over the period.

Manufacturing had the largest job sector in the US 15 millions in 1960,Follwed by retail at just 5 millions in 1960.Although manufacturing reaching peak in 20 millions in 1980,it remained declined 16 millions in 2000 and 13 millions in 2020.Moreover, the figure for Retail had 6 millions in 1960 and its increased by at 16 millions in 2020.

By contrast , The figure for Agriculture experienced a downward trend ,with this sector begining with 6 millions in 1960 and ending with 2 millions in 2020.This figure became the least popular form of the economy sector,while ,Healthcare experienced an upward trend .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing peaks and then declines, agriculture falls, and retail and healthcare rise. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and agriculture ending at 2 million. However, the overview is partly inaccurate: manufacturing was not the most popular sector throughout, since retail and healthcare both reached about 16 million by 2020, above manufacturing at 13 million. The claim that manufacturing “increased steadily” also conflicts with its later decline. Healthcare’s rise is mentioned but not supported with figures, and the 2000 values for retail and healthcare are omitted. A more accurate overview and fuller comparison of the ending positions would make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs describing the sectors. Contrast markers such as “By contrast” help signal a change of focus. However, progression is uneven because the overview says manufacturing was the most popular sector without qualifying that this changed by 2020, and the final paragraph mentions healthcare’s upward trend without developing it. Some linking words are used awkwardly or repetitively, including “Although” and “while,” and punctuation spacing makes connections harder to follow. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, then comparing their values at key dates, would create a clearer line of development and make the relationships between details easier to track.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “peak,” “downward trend,” and “upward trend,” and the reader can generally understand which sectors you mean. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, such as “most popular sector” for the sector with the most jobs, “least proportion,” and “remained declined.” Spelling errors such as “Follwed” and “begining” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise chart language and consistent forms: for example, describe a sector as having the “highest number of jobs,” and say that a figure “declined” or “fell.” This would make the account more natural and exact without requiring unnecessarily complex vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex sentence forms, including clauses beginning with “Although” and “while,” and you use past-tense reporting in several places. However, these structures are often faulty, as in “Although manufacturing reaching peak … it remained declined,” where the verb forms and clause relationship are not controlled. There are also recurring problems with articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries: “15 millions” should be “15 million,” and the opening sentence lacks a full stop. Commas and spaces around punctuation are inconsistent, and the overview contains a run-on sequence. These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. Build accuracy first with complete simple sentences, then add subordinate clauses using correct verb forms.

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