Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given graph illustrates the information about the employment in four sectors : manufacturing , retail, agricultural and healthcare of the financial system in the US over the period of 1960 to 2020.

Overall, there is a slight decline in manufacturing and agriculture. In contrast, there is a significant increase in retail and healthcare over the periods.

In 1960, 15 millions jobs in manufacturing sector that rose in next 20 years to 20 million and it drastically decreased in in 2020 to almost 13 millions. Similarly, agricultural sector employment declined in 1980 than in next 20 years it became constant then afterwards a slight decline and stands at almost 2 million.

On the other hand, the employment in retail sector and healthcare increased significantly. In healthcare in the start of 1960 they were 2 million but in 2020 they rose rapidly and reached at over 15 millions. While rate of jobs in retail started from over 5 millions and in 2020 reached over 15 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the broad pattern accurately: manufacturing and agriculture decline overall, while retail and healthcare rise. You also include useful figures for manufacturing and the starting and ending levels of healthcare and retail. However, some important comparisons are underdeveloped. For example, manufacturing peaks at 20 million in 1980 before falling to 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020, but the middle figure and the timing of the decline are omitted. Retail and healthcare both finish at about 16 million, a notable comparison that is not stated. Agriculture’s fall from 6 million to 2 million is described, but its approximate values are not reported. A more precise overview and fuller comparisons would make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs that group declining and rising sectors. Linking phrases such as “Overall,” “Similarly,” and “On the other hand” help signal the relationships between ideas. The progression is generally understandable, but some connections are awkward or unclear. In the agriculture sentence, “declined in 1980 than in next 20 years it became constant” makes the sequence difficult to follow, while the final paragraph shifts between healthcare and retail without a clear comparison. Use more precise time markers and organise each sector’s changes in chronological order; this would make the cohesion less mechanical and the comparisons easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “decline,” “increased significantly,” “constant,” and “reached.” These choices communicate the main movements, and the sector names are generally clear. However, several expressions are imprecise or unnatural, such as “employment in four sectors … of the financial system,” “rose rapidly,” and “rate of jobs.” There are also word-form and collocation problems, including “agricultural sector employment” where a more natural phrasing is needed, and repeated use of “over” for approximate figures. Aim for accurate chart language such as “number of jobs,” “employment in agriculture,” “peaked at,” and “stood at.” This would improve precision and reduce awkward phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex sentences, including contrast structures such as “In contrast” and “On the other hand,” and most of the intended meaning remains understandable. Some grammatical errors are noticeable, however. The opening body sentence lacks a verb (“15 millions jobs in manufacturing sector”), and “in in 2020” contains a repeated preposition. There are also problems with articles, agreement, and plurals in phrases such as “in the start of 1960 they were 2 million” and “15 millions.” The agriculture sentence combines several time clauses without a clear grammatical structure. Practise complete sentences, consistent past-tense reporting, and accurate singular/plural forms; these changes would make your varied sentence attempts more controlled.

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