Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
This line graph is representing number of jobs in four sectors of economy in US between 1960 and 2020. In 1960 manufacturing had 15 million jobs and reached it's peak in 1980 and it decends gradually in 2000 to 2020. Retail and Agriculture stands at same place approximately 6 million in 1960 but retail ascend gradually with years to 2020, whereas Agriculture decline till 1980 and maintain it pace to 2000 and decline more in 2020
Healthcare was at lowest in 1960, job oppurtunities incline with passing year, one of the sector that shows progress and in other words mean health was given more importance with time. In 2020 healthcare and Retail both were at same ratio in terms of job opportunities.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
You identify several relevant trends: manufacturing peaks in 1980 before declining, agriculture falls overall, and healthcare rises from the lowest starting point. You also correctly note that retail and healthcare finish at roughly the same level. However, the report is incomplete and underdeveloped: it gives few figures beyond the starting values, omits the important comparison that retail overtakes manufacturing by 2020, and does not clearly summarise the overall pattern across all four sectors. The claim that healthcare growth means health was given more importance is an unsupported explanation rather than information shown by the graph. The response is 122 words, below the required 150. Add a clear overview and key figures to cover the main features more fully.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a basic sequence, moving from manufacturing to retail and agriculture, then healthcare, and the contrast signalled by “whereas” helps connect the retail and agriculture trends. However, the ideas are compressed into two long blocks, with no clear overview paragraph and limited progression from general patterns to supporting details. The opening sentence functions mainly as a restatement of the task. Some links are awkward, such as “and in other words mean,” and the final comparison would be clearer if it explicitly stated that retail and healthcare both reached about 16 million. Use separate paragraphs for the overview and details, and connect comparisons more precisely to make the organisation easier to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use some relevant trend vocabulary, including “peak,” “decline,” “maintain,” and “progress,” and the reader can generally understand the intended comparisons. However, the range is limited and several choices or forms are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “ascend gradually,” “stands at same place,” and “maintain it pace.” Spelling errors in “oppurtunities” and “decends” also reduce accuracy. Some wording is imprecise for a graph report: “same ratio” should describe a similar number or level, not a ratio, and “health was given more importance” adds an interpretation not supported by the data. Aim for precise reporting verbs and collocations, such as “rose steadily,” “remained stable,” and “fell to.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt to combine ideas using clauses such as “whereas Agriculture decline till 1980 and maintain it pace to 2000,” showing an effort to use more than simple sentences. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in verb forms and agreement occur frequently: “Agriculture decline” should be “agriculture declined,” while “Retail and Agriculture stands” needs a plural verb. There are also problems with sentence boundaries and punctuation, particularly where the manufacturing sentence runs into the retail comparison without a full stop. The possessive in “it’s peak” is also grammatically incorrect; use “its peak.” Build a few clear, accurate sentences first, then add subordinate clauses while checking tense consistency and subject–verb agreement.
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