Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph chart illustrates changes in the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, manufacturing experienced an intial increased followed by a gradual decline. In contrast, employement in retail and agriculture showed an upward trend, while healthcare employement decreased throughout the period.

In 1960, manufacturing accounted fpr 15 million jobs, and this figure rose to 20 million in 1980. However, it subsequently fell to 16 million in 2000 before declining further to 14 million by 2020. Retail employement, on the other hand increased steadily from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980. It then climbed to 15 million in 2000, reaching a peak of 16 million at the end of period.

Regarding agriculture, the number of jobs increased from 3 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980.It then rose considerably, reaching 16 million by 2000. Morover, in 2020 it rose and reached at peak 16 million. While, healthcare jobs was 6 million in 1960 which declined at 1980 and than stable in 2000 with 4 million and in 2020 it decreased from 4 million to 3 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response attempts to describe all four sectors, but several central trends and figures are substantially misreported, so the account does not reliably summarise the graph. Most importantly, it says agriculture rose from 3 million to 16 million, whereas the chart shows a fall from about 6 million in 1960 to 2 million in 2020. It also says healthcare declined, although it increased from about 2 million to 16 million, and the overview incorrectly describes agriculture as rising. Manufacturing and retail are reported more accurately, with only small differences in some figures. To improve, check each series against the graph before writing, then give an overview that identifies the contrasting rises and falls and supports it with accurate key data.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs grouping the sectors. The sequence within the manufacturing and retail discussion is easy to follow, and transitions such as “However” and “on the other hand” help signal contrast. However, the grouping in the final paragraph does not create a clear comparison: agriculture and healthcare are described with contradictory trends, and “While” begins a fragment-like transition rather than linking the ideas smoothly. Some linking phrases, including “Moreover” and “While,” are used mechanically or inaccurately. Keep the paragraph structure, but organise the two body paragraphs around accurate trends and use linking expressions only where their logical relationship is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “accounted for,” “declining,” “climbed,” and “reaching a peak,” which helps describe changes over time. However, spelling errors are noticeable, for example “intial,” “employement,” “fpr,” and “Morover.” Some expressions are also awkward or imprecise, such as “reached at peak” and “increased considerably,” particularly where the data actually show a decline. Repetition of “rose,” “reached,” and “decreased” limits flexibility. Aim for accurate, natural collocations such as “rose to,” “fell to,” and “remained stable,” and proofread spelling. Choose vocabulary that matches the direction and scale of each change.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response includes both simple sentences and attempts at more complex structures, such as “In contrast…” and “However, it subsequently fell…”. The manufacturing and retail sentences are generally understandable. However, errors in sentence construction, tense, agreement, and punctuation recur and sometimes make relationships unclear. For example, “While, healthcare jobs was 6 million” has an unsuitable opening conjunction and subject–verb disagreement; “which declined at 1980” does not form a clear grammatical pattern; and “in 2020 it decreased from 4 million to 3 million” has an unclear reference. There are also missing spaces after full stops and commas. Practise complete, well-punctuated sentences and check that subjects, verbs, and time expressions fit together.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.