Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The data of number of jobs in US in different economic sectors including manufacturing, retail, agriculture and heathcare are shown in the line graph from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the manufacturing sector provided the highest number of jobs as compared to the other sectors before it was surpassed by the retail and healthcare departments after 2000. Healthcare started at same level as of retail but it ended at the lowest point as compared with the others.

An analysis of the data shows that the manufacturing industry provided the most number of jobs until about 2000. It started from 15 millions in 1960 before reaching to its peak point of 20 million afterwhich its numbers declined to approximately 13 millions in 2020. Meanwhile,the retail and healthcare departments initiated approximately at 6 and 2 millions respectively and they both rose sharply before ending at a same point of almost 16 million.

However, although the agriculture sector has slightly more than 5 millions of jobs in 1960, the figure reduced gradually to almost 2 millions in 1980 and after that it plateaued throughout until 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall pattern: manufacturing begins as the largest employer, while retail and healthcare rise and agriculture declines. Several figures are reported accurately, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million and its fall to about 13 million, and the shared endpoint of roughly 16 million for retail and healthcare. However, the overview contains a major contradiction: healthcare did not finish at the lowest level; it ended joint-highest with retail. The statement that manufacturing was surpassed by both sectors “after 2000” is also imprecise, since it was still above them in 2000 and was overtaken by 2020. Agriculture’s decline is described inaccurately as reaching about 2 million in 1980 and then plateauing; it was around 3 million in both 1980 and 2000, before falling to 2 million. Correcting these points and comparing the final rankings more clearly would strengthen coverage.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear four-part structure: introduction, overview, discussion of the three growing sectors, and a final paragraph on agriculture. This gives the reader a generally coherent route through the information, and transitions such as “Overall,” “Meanwhile,” and “However” help signal relationships. Some connections are less effective, though. The overview’s claim that healthcare ended lowest conflicts with the later statement that it finished at the same level as retail, making the progression harder to follow. The final paragraph’s “after that it plateaued throughout” also obscures the actual later decline. Grouping the rising sectors together is sensible, but clearer sequencing of their values and a consistent account of the endpoint comparisons would make cohesion more controlled and less dependent on basic linking words.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “provided,” “declined,” “rose sharply,” and “plateaued,” which helps describe changes rather than merely list figures. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “An analysis of the data shows.” However, some choices are inaccurate or unnatural: “departments” is not the best term for economic sectors, “initiated” is awkward for describing starting values, and “most number of jobs” is an incorrect collocation. “Heathcare” is misspelled, and “same point” is less precise than language describing equal figures. Choose standard chart-reporting collocations and check spelling; this would make the vocabulary more precise while retaining the useful range already shown.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex structures, including the contrastive clause “although the agriculture sector…” and the time clause “before reaching to its peak point.” The overall meaning is usually clear, and the response includes several correctly formed sentences. Some grammatical errors remain, however. In “15 millions” and “6 and 2 millions,” the unit should be singular after a number; “reaching to” should be “reaching”; and “afterwhich” needs to be written as two words, “after which.” The overview’s “started at same level as of retail” also has problems with the article and comparison structure. Review number expressions, articles, and verb patterns, and proofread punctuation around transitions such as “Meanwhile,” to improve accuracy.

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