Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrate information about the perception of jobs in four rythms of ecnomy in the US between 1960 and 2020. The four sectors of job include manufacturing,retail,agriculture, and healthcare. Overall the number of jobs in healthcare and retail increased significantly while in manufacturing and agriculture decreased .manufacturing was the largest emloyer in 1960 and 1980 but by 2020 healthcare and retain overtaken .

in 1960 manufacturing had around 15 million jobs, far higher than the other three sectors . Retail and agriculture both had about 6 millions jons ,while healthcare was the smallest with only about 2 million .

between 1960 and 1980 manufacturing jobs rose to a peak of 20 million After that however it fell steadily to about million in 2020 .

in contrast healthcare and retail showed continuous growth. retail jobs grew from 6 million in 1960 to about 10 million in 1980 and 15 million in 2000 reaching about 16 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the broad contrast between growing employment in retail and healthcare and declining employment in agriculture, and you accurately report several key figures, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million and retail’s rise to 16 million. However, the overview is incomplete: it does not clearly state that healthcare and retail both reached about 16 million by 2020, or that agriculture remained the smallest sector. The account also stops before describing healthcare’s figures and agriculture’s later decline. In addition, “fell steadily to about million” omits the manufacturing endpoint, which is approximately 13 million. These gaps leave some important features underdeveloped, despite relevant coverage of the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a generally understandable order: an introduction and overview are followed by details about 1960, manufacturing, and retail. Paragraphing helps separate the overview from the data, and phrases such as “in contrast” signal a comparison. However, the progression is incomplete because the final paragraph ends after retail, without returning to healthcare or agriculture, and the manufacturing sentence contains an unclear endpoint. Some linking is also mechanical or inconsistent, while punctuation and spacing around sentence boundaries make the flow less smooth. To improve, group the sectors by trend, complete each comparison, and use clear transitions to guide the reader from the starting figures to the final year.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “peak,” “rose,” “fell,” and “continuous growth,” which helps communicate the main trends. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or spelling errors reduce clarity: “perception of jobs” does not describe the graph, “four rythms of ecnomy” is unclear, and “retain” appears where “retail” is intended. “Largest employer” is a suitable phrase, but “jobs” and “about” are repeated frequently. Aim for accurate sector terminology and a wider set of trend expressions, such as “employment,” “declined,” and “remained stable.” Proofreading spelling and choosing natural collocations would make the description more precise and easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more developed sentence forms, for example, “Retail and agriculture both had about 6 millions jobs, while healthcare was the smallest.” This shows some ability to combine comparisons. However, errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, articles, and number forms remain noticeable. The opening should use “The line graph illustrates,” and the overview’s “decreased .manufacturing” needs correct punctuation and a clear sentence boundary. In “fell steadily to about million,” the quantity is incomplete, making the sentence difficult to interpret. There are also inconsistent capital letters after full stops. Use a reliable pattern for each data point—subject, trend verb, figure, and time—and check agreement and punctuation.

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