Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph shows statistics about the number of jobs in four departments of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020. Overall, the manufacturing and agriculture sectors shows tremendous decline in the number of jobs, while retail and healthcare departments have rapid increase in size of jobs from 1960 to 2020. The retail and healthcare departments reached at 15 millions job in the end of 2020, and above all four departments, agricultural department has minimum jobs throughout the years. The manufacturing and retail departments have totally opposite trends. The manufacturing sector has maximum 20 millions jobs in 1980 and then rapidly fall and reached below 15 millions at the end of 2020, while retail sector has 5 millions jobs in 1960, 10 millions in 1980 and reached at 15 millions in 2000 then remain stable at 15 millions jobs between 2000 and 2020. Healthcare department rose sharply, whereas agriculture sector declined steadily. Healthcare sector has a similar figures as a retail sector. Agriculture sector has minimum jobs 5 millions in 1960 than steadily fall between year 1960 and 1980 and remain stable from 1980 to 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main contrast between declining manufacturing and agriculture and growing retail and healthcare, and you include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: retail rises to about 16 million by 2020 rather than remaining at 15 million, and healthcare also reaches about 16 million, not 15 million. Agriculture falls from about 6 million to 2 million, rather than starting at 5 million or remaining stable through 2020. The overview is relevant, but the claim that manufacturing and agriculture both show a “tremendous decline” overstates the manufacturing change. More precise comparisons and a clearer account of the final values would make the report more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable overall sequence: an introduction and overview are followed by details about the sectors. This gives the reader a basic route through the information. However, the ideas are crowded into one paragraph, and several points are repeated, including that agriculture has the fewest jobs and that healthcare rises while agriculture falls. Connections between details are sometimes unclear; for example, “Healthcare sector has a similar figures as a retail sector” does not explain which feature is similar. Grouping the two rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, with clear paragraph breaks, would improve progression. Use linking expressions to show comparisons rather than relying on repeated “while” and “then.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, including “sectors,” “declined steadily,” “rose sharply,” and “opposite trends,” which helps describe the graph. Some choices are imprecise or unnatural, however: “departments” is less suitable than “sectors” for these categories, “size of jobs” is unclear, and “tremendous decline” exaggerates the manufacturing trend. Phrases such as “reached at” and “minimum jobs” also show limited control of collocation. Aim for precise, conventional language for describing data, such as “the number of jobs rose to” or “the sector recorded the lowest employment.” This would make your comparisons clearer and more appropriately formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including comparisons joined with “while” and clauses describing changes over time. The main trends remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “manufacturing and agriculture sectors shows” has subject–verb disagreement, while “has maximum 20 millions jobs” and “a similar figures” contain problems with articles and number agreement. Verb forms are also inconsistent in “then rapidly fall and reached.” Review agreement with plural subjects, past-tense forms for historical data, and singular/plural forms such as “million jobs.” More accurate control of these patterns would make the otherwise relevant information easier to follow.

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