Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the amount of jobs offered by the agriculture, healthcare, manufacturing and retail sectors of the economy of the United States from the year 1960 to 2020. The amount of jobs are presented in millions and the years are in 20-year intervals.

Manufacturing sector started off with a highest number of jobs (15 million) compared to others in 1960, peaking in 1980 and then gradually falling off for the rest of the years. A simillar downward trend of the latter years can be seen in the numbers presented by the agriculture sector. The amount of jobs kept on plummetting from 6 million in 1960 to 2.5 million in 2020.

On the other hand, the healthcare sector showed an amazing growth. It had a measly amount of 2.5 million jobs in the 60s which kept on increasing and soared to the higher echelons of 16 million in 2020. The retail sector showed off a similar increase from 6 million jobs and tied with the healthcare sector in 2020.

Overall, healthcare and retail sectors came from humble beginnings and became the largest job offering sectors. Manufacturing was leading strong but fell down below the bigger sectors and agriculture was struggling all throughout the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You identify the main patterns accurately: manufacturing begins as the largest sector, peaks in 1980 and then declines, while retail and healthcare rise and agriculture falls. The overview also captures the broad shift, noting that healthcare and retail become the largest by 2020. Most figures are consistent with the graph, including the 2020 tie at about 16 million; the agriculture figure of 2.5 million is a reasonable approximation. This is a clear, relevant summary with key comparisons. To make the account more fully developed, report the manufacturing peak and endpoint figures, and clarify that retail overtakes manufacturing by 2000 while healthcare does so by 2020. Avoid broad phrases such as “struggling all throughout” when a precise trend description is available.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two paragraphs describing the declining and rising sectors, and a concluding overview. The contrastive opening “On the other hand” helps signal the shift from falling to rising trends, and the ideas are generally easy to follow. However, the final “Overall” paragraph repeats several points already made rather than adding a concise synthesis, and some links between comparisons could be more explicit. For example, explain how manufacturing’s decline relates to retail’s and healthcare’s growth. The phrase “a similar downward trend of the latter years” is also not fully clear about which period is being compared. More precise referencing and less repetition would strengthen progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “peaking,” “downward trend,” “soared,” and “increasing.” These choices make the main movements clear, and the meaning remains understandable throughout. However, some expressions are too informal or evaluative for an academic graph summary, such as “amazing growth,” “measly amount,” “higher echelons,” “humble beginnings,” and “struggling.” There are also spelling and word-choice issues, including “simillar” and “plummetting,” and “amount of jobs” is less natural than “number of jobs.” Aim for neutral, precise language and use trend vocabulary consistently; this would improve control of collocation and style.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses linked with “which” and contrastive structures such as “On the other hand.” Most sentences communicate the intended trends clearly. Some grammatical errors remain, however. In the opening, “The amount of jobs are presented” has subject–verb disagreement and an unsuitable singular noun; write “The number of jobs is presented.” “Manufacturing sector started off with a highest number” needs an article before “manufacturing sector” and a different article before “highest.” The sentence about agriculture also shifts awkwardly between “kept on plummetting” and the past-time data. Check agreement, articles, and consistent past-tense reporting, while retaining your attempts at varied sentence structures.

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