Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graphlines illustrate the detail of number of jobs in four sector of economy in the US between 1960 to 2020 , namely manufacturing, retail agriculture and healthcare.

overall manufacturing was the largest employment sector in early years, reaching its peak in 1980 before decline steadily,in contrast healthcare sector and retail sectore gradually increase. while agriculture showed over all downward trend. By 2020 Health care and retail are overall leading sectors.

In 1960 , manufacturing accounted for approximately 15 million jobs, compared with 6 million jobs in agriculture and retail sector both. The number of manufacturing jobs rose to its peak in year 1980 by providing 20 million jobs.

Retail employement steadily increase from 5 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980. It then grows to 15 million in year 2000. and approximately in 2020 it grows to 16 million. Health care also saw significant growth , rising from just 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980 , The figure more than double to 11 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020

Agriculture folloed the opposite pattern. Employment in this sector start from 5 million in year 1960 and dropped to 03 million in 1980. It remains the same level in 2000 and then decreases to 02 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response selects the main trends and supports them with relevant figures: manufacturing peaks at 20 million in 1980 before declining, retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture falls. The overview also identifies manufacturing as the early leader and retail and healthcare as the leading sectors by 2020. Most reported values match the chart, but healthcare is given as 13 million in 2020 rather than approximately 16 million, and the opening figures for retail and agriculture are stated as 5 million rather than 6 million. These are small inaccuracies within an otherwise clear account. To strengthen the response further, make the final comparison explicit: retail and healthcare finish at roughly the same level, while agriculture is far lower.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The information is arranged in a clear sequence, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs that group the sectors and describe their changes over time. Linking expressions such as “in contrast,” “It then,” and “while” help show relationships between trends, and the reader can follow the account overall. However, some transitions are abrupt, particularly the shift from retail to healthcare and then agriculture, and punctuation sometimes interrupts the flow, as in “in year 2000. and approximately in 2020.” The overview also repeats the idea that healthcare and retail lead in 2020 without specifying their equal endpoint. Use consistent paragraphing and connect related comparisons more smoothly to make cohesion less noticeable.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses relevant vocabulary for describing data, including “accounted for,” “peak,” “steadily,” “significant growth,” and “downward trend.” This gives it enough range to communicate the main movements, but control is uneven and several choices or forms are inaccurate. Examples include “graphlines,” “employment” misspelled as “employement,” “sector” where the plural is needed, and “followed the opposite pattern” misspelled as “folloed.” “The figure more than double” is also an awkward expression for describing a value. These errors make the wording less precise and natural. Aim for accurate collocations such as “the number of jobs rose” and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response attempts a mix of simple and more complex sentences, including contrasts with “while” and “in contrast,” and most of the trends remain understandable. However, grammatical control is inconsistent. Examples include “four sector of economy,” “between 1960 to 2020,” and “Employment in this sector start,” which show problems with plurals, prepositions, and verb forms. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also unreliable, as in “It then grows to 15 million in year 2000. and approximately in 2020 it grows to 16 million.” These issues recur and sometimes make the reader pause, despite the overall message being clear. Review subject–verb agreement, articles, tense consistency, and sentence punctuation, then proofread each sentence for a complete grammatical structure.

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