Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates about, overall number of jobs in various sectors such as - Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare in the economy of the US between 1960 and 2020.

At the top of list, Manufacturing holds the biggest figures in job with 20 million at the peak, furthermore, it fell to 17 million in 2000, as well as it shows sharp declined to 13 million by the end of 2020. In Contrast, Aagriculture holds 5 million figures in job at its peak in 1960, beside that, it fell to 3 million, additionally it shows significant declined and hold the lowest figures.

On the other hand, Retail surged sharply to 15 million, moreover it rose substantially to 16 million. Whereas, Healthcare rose to 5 million from 2 million, additionally, it surge substantially to 15 million.

In conclusion, Manufacturing hold the biggest figure at its peak, in contrast, Agriculture hold the lowest. Where as Retail and Healthcare shows a significant growth in the economy of the US with 15 million figures in job.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify all four sectors and report several broad trends, including manufacturing’s decline after its peak and growth in retail and healthcare. However, some key figures and comparisons are inaccurate or unclear: agriculture starts at about 6 million, not 5 million at its peak, and healthcare reaches about 16 million in 2020, not 15 million. The overview also says manufacturing held the biggest figure without clarifying that it led in 1960 and 1980, while retail and healthcare were joint-highest by 2020. The response therefore covers the task only partially, with important features under-reported. To strengthen it, give a clear overview of the changing rankings and support it with accurate figures across the period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic structure: an introduction, descriptions of the sectors, and a concluding statement. This gives the reader some organisation, and contrasts such as “In Contrast” and “On the other hand” show an attempt to connect information. However, there is no clear progression through the years, and the sector comparisons are grouped in a way that makes the trends difficult to follow. Linking words are also overused or awkwardly combined, as in “furthermore… as well as” and “beside that… additionally.” The conclusion repeats earlier points rather than providing a concise overview. Organise the body by a clear pattern—for example, manufacturing and agriculture first, then retail and healthcare—and use fewer, more precise transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “fell,” “surged,” “rose substantially,” and “peak.” However, the range is limited and several choices or combinations are unnatural, such as “biggest figures in job,” “holds 5 million figures in job,” and “significant declined.” There is also a spelling error in “Aagriculture,” and repeated use of “substantially” and “figures” makes the description less precise. These issues sometimes make the intended meaning harder to understand. Build a more accurate set of chart-description phrases, such as “the number of jobs,” “reached a peak of,” “declined to,” and “remained the lowest,” and check spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, and the reader can generally identify the sectors and the direction of change. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction occur frequently. For example, “Manufacturing holds the biggest figures” shifts into the present tense, while “Manufacturing hold” and “Agriculture hold” lack subject–verb agreement. The opening phrase “illustrates about, overall number” is also structurally unclear, and several clauses joined with “additionally” or “moreover” do not form smooth sentences. Use past tense consistently for the historical data, check singular/plural agreement, and practise writing shorter, complete sentences before combining them.

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