Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The illustration shows about the number of vacancies in four sectors economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. Overall, manufacturing and retail jobs were high. Healthcare vacancies were very high as compare to agriculture opportunities.

It is quite evident from the graph that jobs were in millions frpm 1960, 1980 and 2000, but also 2020. Manufacturing was highest from 20 to less then 15. Retail was minimum from 5 x-axis to above 15 x- axis.

Furthermore, the graph agriculture was more then 5 in 1960 and goes down 2020. Healthcare job opportunities were also high and they were in millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the four sectors and the period, and you attempt an overall comparison by noting that manufacturing and retail were high while agriculture was lower. However, the overview is unclear and partly inaccurate: healthcare did not remain “very high” throughout, but rose substantially over time. Several key trends and comparisons are missing or misreported. Manufacturing peaked at about 20 million in 1980 before falling to 13 million; retail rose from about 6 to 16 million, rather than being “minimum”; and healthcare increased from about 2 to 16 million. Agriculture declined from about 6 to 2 million. The response is also 93 words, below the required 150, so the main features are insufficiently developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response into an opening, an overview and further details, with linking phrases such as “Overall” and “Furthermore.” This gives the reader some sense of structure. However, progression is difficult to follow because the details are brief, loosely connected and sometimes unclear. For example, “jobs were in millions frpm 1960, 1980 and 2000, but also 2020” does not communicate a specific point, while “Retail was minimum from 5 x-axis to above 15 x-axis” is hard to interpret. Develop one paragraph around the main rises and another around declines or comparisons, and use clear references to years and sectors so each sentence builds on the previous one.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “manufacturing,” “retail,” “agriculture,” “healthcare,” “graph” and “millions,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing employment data. “Vacancies” and “opportunities” do not precisely describe the number of jobs shown, and “high” is repeated without indicating how figures change. There are also spelling and word-form slips, such as “frpm” and “less then.” Use precise trend language and collocations, for example “the number of jobs,” “rose to,” “declined to,” and “remained stable.” This would make the comparisons clearer and more appropriate to an academic report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response includes simple sentences and attempts a few more developed structures, such as “Overall, manufacturing and retail jobs were high” and “Healthcare job opportunities were also high and they were in millions.” However, grammatical control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “about the number of vacancies,” “as compare to,” and the unclear construction “Retail was minimum from 5 x-axis to above 15 x-axis.” The sentence beginning “It is quite evident” also has an awkward structure and does not clearly connect its time references to a trend. Practise complete, direct comparisons using accurate verb forms—for example, “Retail employment rose from about 6 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020”—and check articles, agreement and sentence punctuation.

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