Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four employment secotrs Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Health are, of US economy between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it demonstrates that high ranked job were recuited in Manufacturing sector in 1980. Retail sector covers the second major market of employment of Us till 2020. Agriculture showed the least employment sector thorughout the time.

Generally, Retail and healthcare sectors covered the high number of jobs and experience a gradual rise in all years from 5 million to 15 million in numbers till 2020. Manufacturing was on the highest rank in 1980, but it experienced a fall of 16 million jobs and dropped to 12 million till 2020. Agriculture department show a downfall from 1960 to 2020. In 1960 and 2000 it was 6 million and in 1980 it was 4 million and in 2020 it dropped to 3 million of jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the four sectors and give a broad overview: manufacturing peaks in 1980, while agriculture is the smallest sector. However, several details are inaccurate or unclear. Retail rises from 6 to 16 million, not simply to 15 million, and healthcare increases from 2 to 16 million; the claim that both rise “from 5 million to 15 million” misrepresents their starting points and endpoint. Manufacturing falls from 20 to 13 million, not by 16 million to 12 million. Agriculture declines overall, but it is about 3 million in both 1980 and 2000, rather than 6 million in 2000. The response is also 143 words, below the 150-word minimum; the eight words copied from the prompt are excluded. Add accurate comparisons and key figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and a detail paragraph, and it uses basic linking language such as “Overall,” “Generally” and “but.” These features help the reader follow the broad topic. However, progression within the final paragraph is uneven: it moves from retail and healthcare to manufacturing and then agriculture without clearly grouping the trends or comparing the sectors. Some references are also unclear, particularly “it experienced a fall of 16 million jobs,” where the intended change is difficult to identify. Organise the details into clearer comparisons—for example, rising sectors together and declining sectors together—and use precise references to each sector and its values.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “employment,” “sector,” “gradual rise” and “downfall,” so the main subject is generally understandable. However, the range and control are limited, and several word choices or collocations are unnatural: “high ranked job were recuited,” “covers the second major market of employment,” and “Agriculture department” do not express the trends precisely. There are also spelling errors such as “secotrs,” “thorughout” and “recuited,” which reduce accuracy. Prefer straightforward, accurate chart language such as “the highest number of jobs,” “accounted for the second-largest workforce,” and “declined steadily.” Check spelling and use “jobs” or “employment” consistently rather than forcing less natural phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, and the overall meaning can usually be understood. However, errors in sentence construction and agreement recur. For example, “Retail and healthcare sectors … experience a gradual rise” has a subject–verb agreement and tense problem; “Agriculture department show a downfall” also needs a correctly formed verb. The opening sentence lacks clear punctuation around the list of sectors, while “high ranked job were” has problems with number and sentence structure. Tense use is inconsistent when describing the historical data. Use the past simple consistently for changes from 1960 to 2020, and check singular/plural agreement and sentence boundaries. More accurate control of these basic patterns would make the comparisons easier to follow.

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