Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

There are alot of change in number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in US 1960- 2020

-In manufacturing department number of job are at on the peak 15 to 20millon from 1960 to 1980 where from 1980 to 2000 they decrease from 20 to approximately 16 million and from 2000 to 2020 its falls 13.5million

-In Retail they increased alot from 5 to 15million 1960 to 2000 and still in 2020 they maintained their position

-In agriculture department its gave the bad response from 1960 to 2020 the numbers of positions decreases from 5 million to 1 million

- Health care department gain lot of postion and sucess from 2million to 15.5 million they gave the best result from the starting to end 1960 -2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify all four sectors and report several broad trends, including manufacturing’s rise to 1980 followed by decline and agriculture’s overall fall. However, the overview is not clearly separated or sufficiently precise, and some comparisons are inaccurate: retail reached about 16 million in 2020, rather than simply maintaining its 2000 level of 15 million, while healthcare rose to about 16 million, not 15.5 million. The response also gives limited detail about the relative positions of the sectors at the end. It contains 118 words, below the required 150, and this restricts how fully you can select and report the main features. Develop a clear overview and support it with accurate comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response follows a generally understandable sequence, discussing manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in turn. The repeated sector-by-sector format helps the reader identify which data is being described. However, the opening does not provide a clear overview of the main patterns, and the hyphen-led entries make the response feel like notes rather than a connected report. Links between time periods and sectors are limited, while phrases such as “where from 1980 to 2000” make the progression harder to follow. Use a short introduction and overview, then organise the details into connected paragraphs, with clear transitions such as “By contrast” and “Meanwhile.”

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “increased,” “decrease” and “maintained,” so the general direction of change is usually understandable. However, the range is basic and several choices are inaccurate or informal for an academic report. Expressions such as “gave the bad response,” “gain lot of postion and sucess” and “gave the best result” describe the data as if the sectors were performing well or badly, rather than neutrally reporting employment figures. There are also spelling errors, including “alot,” “millon” and “sucess.” Build a more precise set of trend terms and use neutral phrases such as “employment fell” or “the number of jobs rose.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to describe changes across several time periods, but sentence structures are very limited and errors occur frequently. For example, “There are alot of change” has problems with agreement and number, while “number of job are” also lacks correct agreement and plural form. The long manufacturing sentence joins several clauses without reliable punctuation, making the timeline difficult to read. Tense and sentence construction are also inconsistent in phrases such as “its gave” and “they maintained their position.” Practise writing complete, controlled sentences with a clear subject and verb, and use past-tense forms consistently when reporting the historical data. Full stops can help separate each comparison.

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