Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph displays the data regarding the proportion of jobs in US, among four sectors over a sixty-year period.

Overall, a drastic decline can be observed in manufacturing sector, and an increase can be seen in the number of jobs in retail and agriculture.

In 1980, the jobs in manufacturing were at its peak; nevertheless, it started declining gradually, and reached at its lowest level in 2020. As far as agriculture and retail jobs are concerned, at the beginning the retail market was in demand as compared to agriculture. Furthermore, both these sectors started to grow simultaneously over the years, with retail jobs having more empolyees. While these two sectors came to the same point during 2020.

On the other hand, a drop occurred in healthcare jobs during first two decades. Moreover, its economic value of jobs remained constant from 1980 to 2000, with a steady decrease until 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies some relevant trends, including manufacturing peaking in 1980 and then declining, but its account of the graph is substantially inaccurate. Agriculture did not increase: it fell from about 6 million jobs to 2 million, while healthcare rose from 2 million to 16 million. The claim that healthcare dropped and then remained constant reverses its actual pattern. The overview also says retail and agriculture increased, and the statement that retail and healthcare reached the same level in 2020 is not clearly established as a comparison. The response is one word below the required minimum. To improve, report the main trends accurately and include a concise overview supported by key figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs describing sector trends. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “Furthermore,” and “On the other hand” help signal relationships between points. However, progression is weakened because the sectors are grouped in ways that obscure the graph’s actual comparisons, and the healthcare paragraph contradicts the earlier account rather than developing a clear sequence. The reference in “these two sectors” is also unclear, particularly because the preceding sentence discusses agriculture and retail but describes both as growing. Organise the body around accurate trends—for example, declining agriculture versus rising healthcare—and use clear time markers to guide the reader.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

There is an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “drastic decline,” “peak,” “gradually,” “steady decrease,” and “remained constant.” These choices show an attempt to use more than basic language, and the meaning is generally understandable. However, some expressions are imprecise or awkward for chart reporting: “proportion of jobs” suggests percentages rather than numbers, and “economic value of jobs” does not describe the number of healthcare jobs. “Retail market was in demand” is also an indirect way to report employment figures. There is a spelling error in “empolyees.” Use precise terms such as “number of jobs,” “employment,” and “employment levels,” and check spelling before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex forms, including a subordinate clause in “While these two sectors came to the same point during 2020” and a contrast structure with “nevertheless.” Most sentences remain understandable, but some grammatical inaccuracies reduce control. For example, “manufacturing were at its peak” has a subject–verb and pronoun agreement problem, while “reached at its lowest level” uses an incorrect verb pattern. The final “While” clause is a fragment, and “during first two decades” is missing an article. Aim to make each sentence complete and check agreement, articles, and verb patterns. These errors do not generally prevent the reader from following the intended meaning.

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