Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of economy Manufacturing, retail, agricultural, heathcare in the US between the year 1960 and 2020.

Overall,the maximum amount of jobs are under the manufacturing sector upto 2000 and declined afterwards. whereas, agricultural sector declined over the period.the major increase in the jobs can be seen in the heathcare sector as it inclined over the period and became the most popular job creation sector. however,the jobs in the retail sector also showed a sharp increase upto 2000 and then increased steadily till 2020 and reached to the same point as healthcare.

In 1960, Manufacturing sector wa at the top level with huge differnce from other sectors and created around 15 millions jobs. moreover, healthcare was the lowest around 0.5 millions. both retail and agriculutural sector was approximately at 6 millions of jobs in an economy.

by 2020, huge difference were stated. Manufacturing being the highest declined after reaching to 20 millions by 1980 and reached 13 million approximately. agricultural sector declined over the period and reached to 2 millions. howerver, the most dramatic change experinced by heathcare sector being the lowest in the begining showed upward trend and reached 16 millions. Although, Retail sector also showed upward trend till 2000 which afterwards rose steadily and it also reached 16 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main patterns: manufacturing leads initially before declining, agriculture falls, and healthcare and retail rise to similar levels by 2020. The overview is relevant, and the response includes useful comparisons across the period. Most figures are consistent with the graph, including manufacturing at about 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and both retail and healthcare at around 16 million in 2020. However, healthcare in 1960 was about 2 million, not 0.5 million, and the claim that manufacturing was the highest “by 2020” conflicts with its decline to 13 million, below retail and healthcare. The response covers the task well overall, but these inaccuracies and some unclear comparisons limit its precision.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs presenting figures from the beginning and end of the period. This makes the main trends reasonably easy to follow. However, progression within the overview is weakened by abrupt transitions and punctuation, as in “whereas, agricultural sector declined” and “however,the jobs in the retail sector.” The final paragraph also repeats trends already stated in the overview rather than grouping the series in a more purposeful way. Some linking words, including “moreover,” “Although,” and “however,” do not clearly express the relationship between the ideas that follow them. Organising the details into clearer comparisons—for example, declining versus rising sectors—would make cohesion more natural and consistent.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “declined,” “upward trend,” “sharp increase,” and “dramatic change.” These choices help communicate the broad movements in the graph. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems reduce precision: “most popular job creation sector” is not an appropriate description of the largest employment sector, while “reached to the same point” is unnatural. There are also repeated misspellings, such as “heathcare,” “differnce,” and “agriculutural,” and some imprecise phrases such as “huge difference were stated.” Aim for accurate sector names and standard chart language, such as “employment rose” or “the figure stood at,” rather than relying on general expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple statements and longer sentences, including clauses beginning with “whereas” and “Although.” However, control is inconsistent, and complex sentences are often faulty or difficult to follow. Examples include “Overall,the maximum amount of jobs are under the manufacturing sector upto 2000,” where the subject and verb do not agree and the time phrase is awkwardly placed, and “both retail and agriculutural sector was,” which has an agreement error. Articles and sentence boundaries are also often missing or misused, as in “Manufacturing sector wa at the top level” and the run-on sequence “Although, Retail sector also showed upward trend till 2000 which afterwards rose steadily.” Practise accurate past-tense reporting, agreement, articles, and punctuation while keeping sentence structures manageable.

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