Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph shows the changes in employment in in four different fields of financial system of the United States form 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the healthcare industry which started as the least job provider surpassed the agriculture and manufacturing sectors to equal the retail over the period of time.The healthcare and retail showed an increasing trend, while the agriculture and manufacturing sectors declined over the time.

The industry whose number of jobs increased over the period were healthcare and retail. Healthcare exceeded almost every sector to level out the retail at over 15 million in 2020, while started at just around 2.5 million in 1960.similarly the retail statting jointly with the agriculture at just above 5 million in 1960, but diverges as move along the time and joind the medical sector.

The industries that lost job over the period were manufacturing and agriculture. manufacturing starts off with the highest number of jobs: 5 million in 1960 peaking upto 20 million in 1980 and then dropping to around 12.5 million over the time. whule the agriculture starts with the retail at above 5 million but drops to around

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main broad pattern: healthcare and retail rise, while manufacturing and agriculture fall, and you note healthcare’s growth from the lowest starting point to a level comparable with retail by 2020. However, several figures and comparisons are inaccurate or incomplete. Manufacturing began at about 15 million jobs, not 5 million, and its 2020 figure was about 13 million rather than 12.5 million. The response also ends before reporting agriculture’s final level, and the claim that healthcare “exceeded almost every sector” is imprecise because it only catches retail by 2020. The overview is relevant, but the data support and coverage are uneven; report the key endpoints and turning points more accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and separate paragraphs for rising and declining sectors. This grouping helps the reader follow the main comparisons. However, progression is weakened by unclear or awkward links, such as “similarly” before the retail description and “as move along the time,” which makes the relationship between the figures difficult to follow. Some information is repeated between the overview and body, while the final paragraph stops mid-comparison, leaving the account incomplete. Use clearer sequencing, for example, describe each sector’s start, main change, and endpoint, and connect comparisons explicitly. Paragraphing is useful, but cohesion and referencing are not consistently clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “peaking,” “declined,” “increasing trend,” and “level out,” and you attempt to vary how the sectors are described. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for this chart: “fields of financial system” misidentifies the sectors, “job provider” is awkward, and “lost job” should refer to jobs in the plural. Spelling errors such as “statting,” “joind,” and “whule” also make parts of the response harder to read. Aim for precise chart language and check spelling carefully. Phrases such as “employment in four sectors” and “the number of jobs fell” would be clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex sentences, including a relative clause in “the healthcare industry which started as the least job provider…” and a contrast using “while.” However, errors are frequent, and some sentences are difficult to interpret. Examples include “while started at just around 2.5 million,” which lacks a clear subject, and “as move along the time,” where the clause is not grammatically complete. There are also problems with sentence boundaries and punctuation, such as the missing space after “time.” and the lower-case starts after full stops. Practise forming complete clauses with clear subjects and consistent past-tense verbs, then proofread punctuation and sentence boundaries.

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