Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the porportion of jobs in four different economy departments in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it is clear that from 1960 to 2020, there were millions of jobs in these four sectors of economy. Manufacturing and Retail remained the highest through out the time period. In contrast, Healthcare as high as Retail and Agriculture sector dropped significantly.

In 1960, the highest trend of work was Manufacturing at 15 millions but it dramatically dropped in 2020, at around 13 millions, 1998 was the peak highest time of Manufacturing and it presented at 20 millions of jobs. Whereas, Retail and Agriculture sectors had same number of jobs in 1960, approximately 6 millions but Retail goes upward in 1980 presented 10 millions, in 2000 at 15 millons and in 2020 around 16 millions.

In contrast, department of agriculture dropped in 1980 at around 2 millions of jobs remained the same in 2000 then it dipped slightly in 2020 at around 1.5 millions.

While Healthcare sector represented most dramatically from around 2 million jobs at 1960 to stood at 15 milllions in 2020, it goes high in all years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the four sectors and report several relevant figures, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and retail’s rise to about 16 million by 2020. However, the overview is unclear and includes inaccurate comparisons: manufacturing and retail did not both remain the highest throughout, since healthcare rose to roughly the same level as retail by 2020. The statement that healthcare was “as high as Retail” is not clearly tied to a year, and the claim that manufacturing peaked in 1998 conflicts with the chart’s 1980 data point. Agriculture’s figures are also understated at the end. To strengthen the response, give a concise overview of the contrasting trends and check each key figure against the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and paragraphs describing the sectors. You also use basic linking expressions such as “Overall,” “Whereas” and “In contrast.” However, progression is weakened by unclear or contradictory statements in the overview, and the final paragraph shifts from agriculture to healthcare without a clear separation. Some connections are awkward, such as “While Healthcare sector represented most dramatically,” which makes the relationship between the two clauses difficult to follow. Organise the details into clearer comparisons—for example, manufacturing and retail together, then agriculture and healthcare—and use transitions that show whether trends are similar or contrasting.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing graphs, including “dropped,” “upward,” “peak” and “remained the same.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “proportion of jobs” for numbers, “highest trend of work,” and “represented most dramatically.” Repetition of “jobs” and “sector” also limits variety, while spelling errors such as “porportion,” “millons” and “milllions” are noticeable. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding the general topic, but they reduce precision. Use standard graph language such as “number of jobs,” “rose steadily,” “reached a peak” and “declined slightly,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including comparisons introduced by “Whereas” and “While.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to interpret. For example, “Manufacturing and Retail remained the highest through out the time period” has an unclear comparison, while “Retail goes upward in 1980 presented 10 millions” lacks a well-formed verb structure. Tense use also shifts between past and present (“dropped” and “goes”), and articles and plurals are inconsistent, as in “at 1960” and “15 millions.” Build shorter, complete sentences first, then add subordinate clauses with consistent past-tense verbs.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.