Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph shows employment figures in different sectors of economy such as manufacturing,retail,agriculture and healthcare from [redacted phone] in the US.

The overview shows a massive growth in the financial landscape of retail and healthcare job market,While the agriculture sector went down the hill.The manufacturing department faced an uphill movement but then went down again.

The employment opportunities were the most in retail and health department,the major spike was after 1980 as the graph went straight up and is still rising till now,However the same year,the other two departments such as manufacturing and agriculture took two different turns.Jobs in manufacturing constantly depleted until 2020,While in agriculture the job opportunities were constant till the year 2000 but after it they depleted.Healthcare and retail department created 16 million job opportunities and contributed to the economy. Whereas manufacturing department started at 15 million and went down to 13 million.Lastly,the agriculture sector started at 6 mllion and took a stop at 2.5million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the four sectors and give a relevant overview: retail and healthcare rise, agriculture declines, and manufacturing rises before falling. Several key comparisons are also included, such as manufacturing starting at 15 million and ending at 13 million, and retail and healthcare both reaching 16 million in 2020. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear. Manufacturing did not decline continuously from 1980; it peaked at 20 million in 1980 before falling. Retail and healthcare did not both rise sharply only after 1980: retail had already reached 10 million by then, while healthcare rose from 2 million in 1960. The claim that agriculture “took a stop” at 2.5 million is imprecise. More precise stages and comparisons would make the report fuller and clearer.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and a paragraph with supporting details. This helps the reader follow the main trends. However, progression within the final paragraph is less controlled, as it moves between retail, healthcare, manufacturing, and agriculture without consistently grouping related trends. Linking words such as “However,” “Whereas,” and “Lastly” are useful, but some are attached awkwardly or capitalised mid-sentence, and “the same year” does not clearly identify which year is meant. Organise the details by trend—for example, the rising sectors together, followed by the declining sectors—and use references such as “by 2020” to make connections more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of vocabulary to describe change, including “growth,” “spike,” “depleted,” and “constant.” Some choices, however, are informal, imprecise, or unnatural for an academic graph report. “Went down the hill” and “uphill movement” sound conversational, while “financial landscape” and “employment opportunities” do not accurately describe the number of jobs shown. “Took a stop” is also unclear, and “department” is not the best label for these sectors. Spelling and spacing issues, including “mllion” and missing spaces after commas, also reduce accuracy. Prefer neutral, precise terms such as “declined,” “increased,” “remained stable,” and “employment in the sector.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including contrasts with “while” and “whereas,” and the main meaning is generally understandable. Some grammatical and punctuation errors remain. For example, “The overview shows …, While” incorrectly capitalises the conjunction after a comma, and “the same year,the other two departments” has faulty punctuation and unclear sentence structure. In “the agriculture sector started at 6 million and took a stop at 2.5 million,” the verb pattern is not well formed. There are also inconsistent sentence boundaries, particularly where “Whereas manufacturing department…” follows a full stop as a fragment. Use complete sentences, check articles such as “the manufacturing department,” and keep past-tense reporting consistent.

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