Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

This line graph displayes the trends of creation of employment among four distinct sectors of US named, ranufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare, over 60-year period, ranging from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing remained the top sector to generate maximum jobs for initial 40 years but in last 20 years its trend seems to be declining. On the other side, retail and healthcare started from less jobs creation and increased their demand throughout the period, reaching highest by 2020, while agriculture started same as retail but with time the number of vocancies in this sector decreased.

At the outset, manufacturing started from 15 million jobs in 1960, this trend increased till 20 million till 1980, then the demand of workers in this sector decreased for 40 years reaching 13 million by 2020, becoming the 2nd highest job creating sector. Retail and healthcare started from 16 million and 2 million jobs respectively in 1960, the demand of skilled workers kept increasing throughout the journey of 60 years, reaching 16 million jobs by 2020, both became highest labour demanding sectors, surpassing manufacturing. However, agriculture, which started from 6 million workers per year in 1960 showed a constantly declining trend reaching the minimun level in 2020 at 2 million workers demand.

This trend underscores the pronounced transition from industrial to service based employment, assentuating the burgeoning dominance of two sectors at the same time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall pattern: manufacturing leads initially before declining, while retail and healthcare rise and agriculture falls. Several figures and comparisons are accurate, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and agriculture’s fall to 2 million. However, there is a significant data error: retail began at 6 million, not 16 million, in 1960. The claim that retail and healthcare both reached the highest level by 2020 is broadly supported, but the description of retail’s starting point makes the account confusing. Also, manufacturing declined from 1980 onward, not for 40 years as stated. The final comment about a shift from industrial to service employment is relevant, but could be tied more explicitly to the figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about the four sectors, with a concluding interpretation. This gives the reader a generally logical progression. Linking phrases such as “Overall,” “At the outset,” and “However” help signal the stages of the report. To make the organisation more effective, group the rising sectors together and compare them directly, then describe the declining sectors; this would reduce the long, crowded detail paragraph. Some connections are also unclear: “started from 16 million and 2 million” misrepresents retail’s starting value, disrupting the comparison, while “both became highest” is awkwardly connected to the preceding clause. More precise referencing and sentence boundaries would make cohesion smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use a reasonably varied range of task-related vocabulary, including “declining trend,” “surpassing,” “employment,” and “dominance,” and the meaning is generally clear. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “pronounced transition” and “burgeoning dominance.” However, some choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a graph: “creation of employment,” “increased their demand,” and “workers demand” do not express the trends as precisely as “employment rose” or “the number of jobs increased.” Spelling errors such as “displayes,” “ranufacturing,” “vocancies,” “minimun,” and “assentuating” also detract from control. Aim for accurate, conventional collocations and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including clauses with “while,” “which,” and “reaching,” and most of the message remains understandable. Some grammatical errors persist, particularly in sentence construction and agreement. For example, “This line graph displayes” needs a correctly formed verb, and “manufacturing started from 15 million jobs in 1960, this trend increased” joins two independent clauses with only a comma. The phrase “for initial 40 years” also needs an article, and “both became highest” has an incomplete comparative construction. Several sentences are long and contain multiple ideas, making these errors more noticeable. Use clearer sentence boundaries and check articles, verb forms, and clause structure.

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