Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The Line Chart illustrates the number of employement amoungst 4 Sectors of the economy in America during the time period of 1960 till 2020.

It can be observed from the graph that both sectors Retail & Healthcare had an significant increase in the rate of employment, whereas the other two sectors such as manufacturing and agriculture had taken a downfall in terms of number.

During the time span of 1960 till 1980, apart from Agriculture all other sectors took a rose in number. Manufactory sector taking the lead as in 1980 20 millions was the number of jobs. However this took a sharp downfall in the terms of rate as the number decreased from 20million to almost 13 million by 2020. In Contrast Health care and retail athough low in number by increased year by year. Healthcare being the most drastic as it rose from approximately 3 million all the way up to almost 15.5 million, and similarly 6 million upto 15.5 million in Retail.

In Conclusion it can be said that no progress was observed in Agriculture sector but the other both sector Healthcan & Retail both progressed in number.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main contrast: retail and healthcare rise, while manufacturing and agriculture decline overall. You also include relevant figures, such as manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 and falling to about 13 million by 2020. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: healthcare starts at 2 million, not approximately 3 million, and agriculture does not show “no progress” so much as a steady decline from 6 million to 2 million. The overview would be stronger if it noted that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million in 2020, jointly becoming the largest sectors. The response covers the main trends, but some comparisons and the final summary are less fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, a paragraph describing changes, and a concluding statement. This gives the reader a generally coherent route through the information. Linking phrases such as “However” and “In Contrast” help signal changes in direction, and the comparison between manufacturing and the two growing sectors is relevant. At times, though, the progression is weakened by awkward or unclear connections, particularly “apart from Agriculture all other sectors took a rose in number” and “Healthcare being the most drastic.” The conclusion also repeats the overview rather than adding a clear final comparison. Grouping the data by rising and falling sectors, then presenting the key endpoints consistently, would make the organisation more effective.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “employment,” “increase,” “decreased,” and “approximately,” and you attempt more descriptive expressions such as “sharp downfall” and “most drastic.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, which makes parts of the report harder to follow: “took a rose in number,” “taken a downfall,” and “progressed in number.” There are also spelling and word-form errors, including “employement,” “amoungst,” and “Manufactory.” Repeating “number” and “sector” also limits the range. Aim for precise chart language such as “rose,” “declined,” “employment figures,” and “reached,” while checking spelling and using standard sector names.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of sentence forms, including a contrast clause beginning “whereas” and a time clause beginning “During the time span.” The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but some grammatical errors and punctuation problems remain. For example, “Healthcare being the most drastic as it rose” is a fragment, while “In Conclusion it can be said” needs more controlled punctuation and phrasing. There are also issues with articles, agreement, and sentence construction, as in “Retail & Healthcare had an significant increase” and “Healthcare and retail although low in number by increased year by year.” Use complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and check articles and verb forms. More accurate complex sentences would improve control without sacrificing the comparisons you are trying to make.

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