Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line chart illustrates information about the number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the retail and healthcare sectors increased significantly over the period, whereas manufacturing and agriculture sectors mild fluctuated and declined over the period.

Firstly, The number of jobs in retail sector stood at more than 5 millions in 1960. Then it was increased continuously for next 40 years. In 2000 this number reached 15 millions and for the end of the period it was increased slightly. Furthermore, The healthcare sectore started with just over 2 millions job and reached more than 15 millions jobs at the end of the period. It is clearly showing that healthcare sector growing rapidly compare to retail sector.

Secondly, The manufacturing sector stood at 15 millions in year 1960. For following 20 years it was peaked at 20 millions highest of all time. Also it is highest compared to other sectors. And the it started decreasing till the end of period it fall up to 7 millions of jobs in total figures. Same as for the agriculture sector recorded decline. It was at more than 5 millions in beginning and decreased more than half of it at the end of the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response covers all four sectors and gives a clear overall contrast: retail and healthcare rise, while agriculture falls and manufacturing eventually declines. Several key figures are reported accurately, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and retail’s rise to 15 million in 2000. This meets the task well and shows some selection of important features. However, the manufacturing figure at the end is substantially misreported as 7 million rather than about 13 million, and the overview’s description of manufacturing as only mildly fluctuating does not capture its rise and subsequent fall. The healthcare comparison is also imprecise: it ends at about 16 million, level with retail, rather than clearly outpacing it. More accurate endpoint comparisons and a sharper overview would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction and overview are followed by paragraphs grouping the rising sectors and the declining sectors. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Furthermore,” and “Secondly” help signal the progression, and the reader can generally follow the comparisons. However, these transitions are somewhat mechanical, and some links between ideas are unclear, particularly “Also it is highest compared to other sectors. And the it started decreasing.” Repeated use of “the end of the period” also makes the account less fluid. Improve cohesion by connecting comparisons directly—for example, contrast the two sectors that finish at around 16 million—and use clearer referencing when moving from a peak to a later value.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of chart vocabulary, including “stood at,” “reached,” “increased,” “decline,” and “peaked,” so the main trends are usually understandable. There are also attempts at more descriptive language, such as “growing rapidly.” However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or repetitive: “mild fluctuated,” “it was increased,” and “highest of all time” are not natural ways to describe the data. Spelling errors such as “sectore” and “millions” used after a number also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise trend verbs and standard data expressions, such as “fluctuated slightly,” “rose,” “fell to,” and “million jobs.” This would make the report clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response includes both simple statements and some attempts to link clauses, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, control of verb forms and sentence construction is inconsistent. For example, “Then it was increased continuously” uses an incorrect passive form; “healthcare sector growing rapidly” lacks a finite verb; and “it fall up to 7 millions” has an incorrect verb form. Articles and plurals are also sometimes missing or inaccurate, as in “in retail sector” and “more than 5 millions.” Several sentences begin with “And,” and punctuation around sentence boundaries is uneven. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and complete clause structures, while retaining some varied sentence patterns; this will improve clarity without sacrificing range.

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