Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph shows the number of jobs provided by the four major sectors, which helped to grew the economy of the United States from 1960 to 2020. The major four sector were Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare.

Overall, only three sectors (Manufacturing, Retail and Healthcare) had considerable amount of increase from the beginning to the end. While Agriculture showed slow decrease over the period. Manufacturing remained at highest until at first, but after that it was decline. Whereas Retail and Healthcare had an gradual increase with the same numbers at the end.

At the beginning of 1960, Manufacturing companies gave almost 15 million jobs. While Retail and Agriculture started with just over 5 million. However, Healthcare had less than 5 million employeers. In 1980, Manufacturing increased by 5 million overall(20million). Retail and Healthcare grew gradually with nearly 10 million and 5 million respectively. Agriculture started downward trends in its sector.

In 2000, Manufacturing layoff over 4 million employees with now only having just over 15 million. Although Retail and Healthcare had a significant increase upto 15 million and just above 10 million respectively. In addition, agriculture remained at the same number of jobs. In 2020, Retail and Healthcare gave the same number of jobs (upto 15 million), both remained at top. Whereas Manufacture employeed around 13 million at the end. Agriculture continued its s

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall pattern: manufacturing declines after peaking, agriculture falls, and retail and healthcare rise. You also select relevant figures across the four years, so the account is grounded in the graph. The overview is partly effective, but “only three sectors … had considerable amount of increase” is inaccurate: agriculture decreases, while manufacturing ends below its starting point. You correctly note that retail and healthcare reach the same level in 2020, but “both remained at top” overlooks that they are tied at about 16 million, above manufacturing. The final agriculture sentence is unfinished, leaving its 2020 figure and trend unreported. More precise comparisons and a complete account of the endpoint would make the summary more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and chronological paragraphs covering 1960, 1980, 2000 and 2020. This makes the main sequence easy to follow. However, the year-by-year approach sometimes reads like a list, rather than grouping related trends for comparison. Linking words such as “While,” “Whereas,” and “In addition” help connect points, but some are awkwardly placed or create sentence fragments—for example, “While Retail and Agriculture started…” and “Whereas Manufacture…” are not complete sentences in context. The final paragraph also stops mid-sentence, disrupting progression. Grouping the two rising sectors together and contrasting them with the declining sectors would create a clearer, more cohesive overview.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “gradually,” “significant increase,” “downward trends,” and “remained at the same number.” These choices communicate several trends clearly. However, some expressions are imprecise or unnatural for describing a graph: “jobs provided by” and “companies gave” are less suitable than “employment” or “the number of jobs,” while “Manufacturing layoff over 4 million employees” does not clearly express a fall in the figure. There are also word-form and spelling problems, including “employeers,” “employeed,” and “Manufacture.” Repeated use of “increase” and “jobs” limits flexibility. More accurate collocations and consistent sector labels would improve precision and naturalness.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex forms, including contrast clauses with “While” and “Whereas,” and the meaning is generally recoverable. However, errors in sentence construction and verb forms occur often enough to make some passages awkward. For example, “which helped to grew” uses an incorrect verb form, and “Manufacturing remained at highest until at first” has an unclear structure. Several clauses beginning “While” or “Whereas” are fragments, and “Retail and Healthcare had an gradual increase” has an article error. There are also agreement and tense problems, such as “the major four sector were” and “it was decline.” Aim to make each sentence complete, check subject–verb agreement and articles, and use past-tense forms consistently.

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