Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph provided the information about number of jobs in four sectors of the company in the US economy between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it is clear that in manufacturing number of jobs in the starting are very more but healthcare number of jobs in the starting are very low however in last healthcare number of jobs very high.Whenever retail and agriculture number of jons in starting are same but agriculture number of jobs in the last are very low.

Regarding the graph shows that healthcare sector are very progress because in starting is very about others but in the end ate very high number of jobs. On the other hand retail and agriculture number of jobs in starting are same numbers but in the end in retail are more numbers but agriculture in the end are low numbers.

In conclusion, related to the graph more successful sector was healthcare while agriculture are lose.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the broad contrast between manufacturing and healthcare and note that agriculture declines, which shows some understanding of the graph. However, the report is only partially developed: it gives no figures and misses key changes, including manufacturing peaking at about 20 million in 1980 before falling, and retail rising steadily to around 16 million. The claim that healthcare was “very about others” at the start is unclear and does not accurately describe its low starting point. The conclusion that healthcare was “more successful” also adds an unsupported judgement rather than summarising the data. The response is 146 words, below the 150-word minimum; eight words copied from the prompt were not counted. Include accurate comparisons and selected figures to develop the overview.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure, with an introduction, an overview, further comments and a conclusion. Some linking phrases, such as “Overall,” “On the other hand” and “In conclusion,” help signal the stages of the report. However, there is little progression between the overview and the two body paragraphs: the same comparison between retail and agriculture is repeated, while the main trends are not organised into a clear account. Connections within sentences are also sometimes unclear, as in “Whenever retail and agriculture number of jons in starting are same.” Group the sectors by their trends and use each paragraph to add distinct information rather than restating earlier points.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary includes some relevant terms, such as “manufacturing,” “healthcare,” “agriculture” and “number of jobs,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several phrases are repeated, particularly “in the starting,” “in the end” and “number of jobs.” Some word choices or collocations make the meaning difficult to follow: “very more,” “very progress,” and “more successful sector” are not suitable descriptions of chart trends. There are also spelling errors, including “jons” and “ate.” Use precise trend language such as “rose,” “declined,” “peaked” and “remained stable,” alongside terms like “employment” and “approximately,” to describe the data more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt an overview and use some longer sentence forms, including a contrast introduced by “however” and “On the other hand.” However, grammatical control is inconsistent, and errors frequently make relationships between ideas difficult to understand. For example, “in manufacturing number of jobs in the starting are very more” has problems with articles, word order and agreement; “healthcare sector are” also has subject–verb disagreement. The sentence beginning “Whenever retail and agriculture…” does not form a clear grammatical connection, and punctuation is missing after “high.” Build accurate simple sentences first, such as “Manufacturing employment was highest in 1960,” then practise combining them with correctly formed clauses using “while” or “whereas.”

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