Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this graph,we have given the data of number of jobs in four different sectors in the US, [redacted phone].These four sectors play vital roles in the economy of the country,these includes manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare.

In 1960,there were 15 million jobs in the manufactring sector which rises up to 20 million jobs on 1980.On 2000s, the job market decreased to approximately 17 million job and the jobmarket goes down till 2020 to nearly 13 million jobs in this sector.

The agriculture and retail job market was about 6 million in 1960 but the retail job market rises to 10 million on 1980 and kept rised till 2020. On 2000, it was about 15 million jobs and 16 million on 2020.While, the agriculture job market gone down on 1980 to 3 million and it was same on 2000. The market decreased to about 2 million till 2020.

The healthcare have always played the important role in the economy.In 1960 there were about 3 million jobs and it kept got rised till 2020.On 1980, it was about 5 million jobs and after that, this market goes high bump in it. On 2000, this job market have gone up to 11 million and on 2020, it goes same as retail market till 16 million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You report several key figures accurately, including manufacturing’s rise from 15 million to 20 million before falling to 13 million, and agriculture’s decline from 6 million to 2 million. You also describe retail and healthcare growth, so the main series are covered. However, the response lacks a clear overview of the most important overall patterns: manufacturing peaked and then declined, agriculture remained the smallest sector, while retail and healthcare rose to joint highs by 2020. Some details are unclear or inaccurate: healthcare began at about 2 million, not 3 million, and “goes same as retail” does not clearly explain that both reached 16 million. A concise overview and more precise comparisons would make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response is arranged in a generally understandable order, moving from manufacturing to retail and agriculture, then healthcare. Paragraph breaks help separate the discussion, and time markers such as “In 1960,” “On 2000,” and “till 2020” make the chronology visible. However, the organisation is mainly a sequence of descriptions rather than a clear comparison of the major trends, and some linking is mechanical or unclear. For example, “While, the agriculture…” does not connect smoothly to the preceding retail information, and “after that, this market goes high bump in it” interrupts the progression. Grouping the rising sectors together and contrasting them with the declining sectors would create a clearer overall progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “manufacturing sector,” “agriculture,” “retail,” and “healthcare,” and terms such as “decreased” and “approximately” help describe change. However, the range of trend language is limited, and several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, sometimes making the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “kept rised,” “jobmarket,” “gone down,” and “goes high bump in it.” There are also spelling errors such as “manufactring.” Aim for precise, conventional collocations for graph descriptions, and avoid repeatedly calling each sector a “job market.” More accurate vocabulary would make the comparisons clearer and more formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, and the reader can usually identify the intended time sequence. However, attempts to use more complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “which rises up to 20 million jobs on 1980” needs a past-tense verb and a suitable time preposition; “it kept rised” also has an incorrect verb form. In “The healthcare have always played,” the subject and verb do not agree, while several sentences run together without appropriate spacing or punctuation. Practise consistent past-tense reporting and build accurate sentences before adding more complex clauses.

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