Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given line chart illustrate the information about the employment in four distinct sector in the US from 1960 to 2020 . The data has been calibrated in millions .

overall , it can be clearly seen that manufacturing industry was the dominant sector for economy , whereas retail sector was continue inclined over the period and healthcare remained at least position during the give time .

By analysing ,it can be cleraly seen that in 1960 ,almost 15 million people preferrd job in manufacturing industry that play crucial role in emplyoment and economy after that a sharp ris ewas observed in this figure after 20 years with 20 million the in 2000 this sector declined continue till the last year and remained less than 15million .However ,the retail industry stood at just over 5million in 1960 .Before slight increasing this figure rise significantly with 15million i 2000.

Taking the rest of information into accounts ,in the former year almost 5 million vacancies accounted in agriculture sector .Surprisingly this number was declined with 3million in 1980 and till 2000 it remained stable and then a slight decine was oberserved in the later year that was 2million . Furthermore ,althought heathcare stood at 2million in 1960 but it continuesly sharp till 2020 and remained at peak point with just over 15 milion.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall patterns: manufacturing rises to a peak before declining, while retail and healthcare grow and agriculture falls. Several figures are also reported accurately, including manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and agriculture at 3 million in 1980 and 2000. However, the overview is not fully accurate: healthcare did not remain in the lowest position throughout, as it rose to about 16 million by 2020, matching retail and exceeding manufacturing. The retail account also omits its 2020 figure, and the final manufacturing value is described only as below 15 million. To make the summary more complete, compare the sectors at the end and state the key turning points and final rankings clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs grouping the sectors. This gives the reader a generally coherent route through the information. Some linking phrases, such as “By analysing” and “Taking the rest of information into accounts,” signal transitions, but they are awkward or do not clearly explain the relationship between ideas. Within sentences, several details run together, particularly the manufacturing account, making the sequence of its rise and decline harder to follow. The overview also groups trends without clearly distinguishing the final positions of retail and healthcare. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each figure to its time point with straightforward sequencing, while keeping comparisons between related sectors together.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “declined,” “remained stable,” “sector,” and “million,” and you attempt more formal expressions such as “dominant sector” and “crucial role.” However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unnatural, as in “the data has been calibrated,” “retail sector was continue inclined,” and “healthcare remained at least position.” Spelling errors such as “preferrd,” “emplyoment,” and “oberserved” also make the writing less fluent and can slow the reader. Aim for precise, conventional language for describing trends: for example, say that a figure “rose,” “fell,” or “remained stable,” and use “number of jobs” rather than expressions that imply preference or vacancies.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “whereas,” “after that,” and “although.” This shows some range, but errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction recur. For example, “the line chart illustrate” needs subject–verb agreement, while “retail sector was continue inclined” has an incorrect verb pattern. In “this sector declined continue till the last year,” the adverb and verb form are also not correctly arranged. Punctuation and spacing around commas and full stops are inconsistent, and some long sentences contain several ideas without clear boundaries. Build accuracy by using a reliable past-tense pattern for each trend and separating complex descriptions into shorter, correctly punctuated sentences.

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