Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The graph illustrates the number of jobs in four vital sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
The highest number of jobs were provided by manufacturing sector in 1980, while the lowest number of jobs were offered by agriculture in 2020. Retail and healthcare jobs followed an upward trend throughout the period and ended up at the same number in 2020. Manufacturing jobs gained an upward trend in the first 20 years but then decreased gradually till 2020.
In 1960, 15 million jobs were provided by the manufacturing sector, 6 million jobs were provided by the retail and the agriculture sector, while healthcare sector offered roughly 2 million jobs. Till 1980, the number of jobs offered by the manufacturing,retail, and the healthcare sector rose gradually to 20, 10, and 5 million respectively. In contrast, the number of employees in the agriculture sector declined to estimatedly 3 million.
From 1980 till 2000, the number of employees in manufacturing sector declined to 17 million. Retail and healthcare followed an upward trend, standing at 15 million and 11 million respectively in 2000. The number of workers in agriculture remained the same in these 20 years. From 2000 onwards till 2020, the number of workers in manufacturing declined to 13 million, while the retail and the healthcare both grew to a little above 15 million till 2020. The number for agriculture edged down a little below 3 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0
You provide a clear overview of the main patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then declines, agriculture is lowest by 2020, and retail and healthcare both rise to similar final levels. The figures you report are generally accurate, including the 1960 starting points and the 2000 values. This gives the response a well-supported account of the key changes. One small imprecision is saying retail and healthcare “ended up at the same number”: the chart shows both at about 16 million, so this is a fair summary, though “approximately equal” would be more precise. The final description of both as “a little above 15 million” is also accurate. To strengthen the response further, make the comparison between the sectors’ changing rankings more explicit.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response is arranged in a sensible sequence: an introduction and overview are followed by comparisons across successive time periods. This makes the trends easy to follow, and phrases such as “In contrast” and “From 1980 till 2000” help signal relationships. However, the repeated time-led structure (“Till 1980,” “From 1980 till 2000,” “From 2000 onwards”) can feel mechanical, and the long overview paragraph combines several separate trends. Some linking is also slightly awkward, as in “while the retail and the healthcare both grew.” Grouping the information by contrasting sector patterns, or varying the transitions, would create smoother progression and more flexible cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “declined,” “remained the same,” “edged down,” and “upward trend.” These choices communicate the data clearly, and the repeated use of “jobs” and “number of workers” keeps the topic understandable. There are, however, some imprecise or unnatural collocations: “jobs were provided by” and “offered” are less natural than saying a sector “employed” a number of people, while “gained an upward trend” is not idiomatic. “Estimatedly” is also an awkward word choice. Greater precision in trend vocabulary and more natural collocations would improve the range and control of the language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
You use a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “while” and “in contrast,” and most meanings remain clear. Some grammatical errors and inconsistencies are present. For example, “The highest number of jobs were provided” has a singular subject (“number”) and should take “was”; “the manufacturing sector” and “the healthcare sector” also need consistent article use. In “Retail and healthcare both grew,” the placement of “both” is awkward, and the comma is missing in “manufacturing,retail.” Several sentences repeat the passive pattern “jobs were provided,” limiting structural variety. Review subject–verb agreement, articles, and punctuation, and vary sentence constructions while retaining the clear time comparisons.
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