Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph below illustrates information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the manufactoring jobs were the highest in 1960 while the retail and healthcare jobs were the highest in 2020. The trend of retail and healthcare jobs increased throughout the period while the trend of manufactoring jobs decreased after 1980.

The manufactoring jobs increased from 15 million in 1960 to 20 millions in 1980 while after 1980 the demand of the manufactoring employers were declined and went to 13 million in 2020. In contrast, the demand of the retail and healthcare jobs increased continuously from 5 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020 and from 2.5 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020 respectively.

The agriculture jobs declined fron 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980. After 1980 there is a no change in the agriculture jobs till 2000 and after 2000 there is a minor decrement.

We concluded that the healthcare sector perform very well in increasing the number of employement throughout the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall pattern: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then declines, while retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture falls. The overview also notes the change in which sectors lead by 2020. Most figures are broadly accurate, including manufacturing at 15, 20 and 13 million and agriculture’s fall from 6 to 3 million. However, the overview is imprecise: retail and healthcare are tied at about 16 million in 2020, rather than simply being “the highest,” and retail starts at about 6 million, not 5. The final conclusion repeats the healthcare trend instead of adding a useful comparison. This covers the task well overall, but some features and comparisons need more precise development.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, an overview, and separate paragraphs for the main sector trends. “Overall” and “In contrast” help signal the relationship between the information, and the reader can follow the broad progression. However, some linking is mechanical or awkward, particularly the repeated “after 1980” and the sequence “After 1980… and after 2000…”. The final sentence, “We concluded,” feels detached from the report and repeats an earlier point rather than bringing the comparisons together. Improve progression by grouping the rising sectors in one paragraph and the declining sectors in another, then use concise comparisons to connect their endpoints.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant task vocabulary such as “increased,” “declined,” “throughout the period,” and “in contrast,” so the main trends are understandable. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural: “the demand of the manufacturing employers were declined” does not describe the number of jobs clearly, and “the healthcare sector perform very well” is informal and imprecise for a data report. There are also spelling and word-form errors, including “manufactoring,” “fron,” and “employement.” Use direct, precise terms such as “employment,” “the number of jobs,” “rose,” and “fell.” The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but greater accuracy and more natural collocations are needed.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex forms, including a contrast clause beginning “while” and the sentence comparing retail and healthcare. The main trends remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “the demand … were declined” has an incorrect verb construction, while “there is a no change” contains an unnecessary article and an unsuitable present-tense form for a past period. “The healthcare sector perform” also has subject–verb agreement and tense problems. Plural forms are inconsistent in “20 millions,” and the final sentence shifts to “We concluded.” Use past-tense reporting consistently and check agreement, articles, and singular/plural forms. More accurate control of these patterns would make the varied sentence structures clearer.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.