Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph below illustrates information about number of job in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 to 2020. Overall the four sectors of the economy manufacturing retail agriculture and healthcare. Manufacturing sector had increase in 1960 to 1980 and than declined in 1980 to 2000 and than not grew up.The sector of retail in jobs five millions to do and than more grew up ten millions jobs in 1980.The retail sector increased from 2000 to 2020.Healthcare sector increased approximately down the 5 millions jobs in this sector and than increased in 1980 to 2000 almost ten millions jobs in department and more grow up approximately 15 millions jobs in 2020. Agriculture decreased 5 millions jobs in 1960 to 1980 and more fall the 1980 to 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify all four sectors and report several broad trends, including manufacturing’s rise and later decline, healthcare’s growth, and agriculture’s fall. However, the overview is unclear and some details do not match the graph: manufacturing falls from 20 million in 1980 to 13 million in 2020, rather than declining only to 2000 and then remaining unchanged. Retail rises from 6 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020, but the description of its early increase is difficult to follow. Healthcare reaches about 16 million by 2020, not 15 million. The response also contains 119 words, below the required 150, with 11 prompt words excluded from the count. Add a clear overview and accurate comparisons to address the task more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response follows a broadly sensible order, moving through manufacturing, retail, healthcare and agriculture, and it uses time markers such as “in 1980 to 2000.” These choices give the reader some sense of the periods being described. However, the information is presented as one long paragraph, with no clear separation between an overview and supporting details. Repeated “and than” links make the progression mechanical, while unclear phrases such as “five millions jobs to do” and “in department” interrupt the flow and make relationships between figures hard to follow. Organise the report into an introduction, a concise overview and grouped detail paragraphs, and use clearer links to show changes and comparisons.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use relevant basic terms, including “increased,” “declined,” “sector” and “jobs,” so the reader can recognise the general subject and some trends. However, vocabulary is repetitive and several word choices or collocations strain understanding. For example, “not grew up,” “more fall,” and “five millions jobs to do” do not express the intended trends naturally; “in department” is also unclear in this context. Use precise trend language and standard expressions for quantities, such as “employment rose to” or “the number of jobs fell to.” Check forms such as “million” after a number, and choose verbs that distinguish a rise, a fall and a stable period.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to describe changes across several time periods, and it includes a basic introductory sentence and an overall statement. However, sentence structures are very limited, and frequent errors in tense, articles, prepositions and sentence construction sometimes distort meaning. For example, “between 1960 to 2020” uses an incorrect preposition pattern, while “Manufacturing sector had increase” lacks the correct article and verb form. The repeated construction “and than declined … and than not grew up” is also difficult to parse. Practise accurate past-tense reporting, including forms such as “rose,” “fell” and “remained stable,” and build shorter complete sentences before attempting longer comparisons.

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