Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The graph shows the numbers of jobs in 4 different departments in the US between the year 1960 and 2020.
An overview is that manufacturing department has the highest number of jobs majority of the time. Retail and healthcare jobs have been increasing over the time. In contrast, jobs in agriculture have been decreasing.
Manufacturing jobs started at an amount of 15 million in 1960, it increased to 20 million in 1980. After that it saw a decrease and steadily decreased to around 13 million from 1980 to 2020. Agriculture jobs were around 5 million in 1960, they decreased to around 3 million in 1980. They stayed around this value between 1980 and 2000 after which it gradually decreased to around 2 million in 2020.
Healthcare jobs started with the lowest of 2 million, it show a gradual rise to 5 million till 1980 and then it rised steeply to around 15 million in 2020. Retail jovs started at around 5 million in 1960 and they saw a steady increased till the year 2000 reaching the value of 15 million. It stayed around this value and gradually increased more than 15 million, equalling the healthcare jobs in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
You identify the main overall patterns: manufacturing peaks before declining, retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture falls. The overview also notes that manufacturing leads for most of the period, which is a useful comparison. Most figures are close to the chart, and the account covers all four sectors. However, some details are imprecise: healthcare reaches about 16 million in 2020, not 15 million, and retail is about 16 million then, rather than merely “more than 15 million.” The claim that manufacturing “steadily decreased” from 1980 to 2020 also compresses the stages shown. To strengthen the response further, report the key endpoint comparison more precisely and distinguish the periods of change more clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response is arranged in a clear sequence: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs grouping manufacturing with agriculture and healthcare with retail. This makes the main trends easy to follow, and time markers such as “After that,” “between 1980 and 2000,” and “in 2020” help establish chronology. Some linking is less smooth, however. The final paragraph switches from healthcare to retail without a clear transition, and repeated use of “around” and “after which” makes parts of the description feel mechanical. The overview also repeats information that is then described in detail. More deliberate grouping and a few varied comparison links would make progression more flexible and cohesive.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
You use an adequate range of trend vocabulary, including “increased,” “decreased,” “gradual rise,” “steeply,” and “equalling,” so the reader can understand the main movements. There are also some imprecise or awkward choices: “departments” is not the best label for economic sectors, “started at an amount of” is wordy, and “saw a steady increased” is an incorrect word form. The spelling error “jovs” is noticeable, while “rised” is not the correct form of the verb. These slips do not prevent understanding, but they limit precision and control. Choose standard chart language and check spelling and word forms, especially when describing changes and values.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
You use a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses with “after which” and “after that,” and the overall meaning remains clear. Some grammatical errors persist. For example, “it show a gradual rise” needs subject–verb agreement, while “it rised steeply” uses an incorrect past-tense form. In “Manufacturing jobs started at an amount of 15 million in 1960, it increased…,” two independent clauses are joined with a comma; use a full stop or a conjunction. The sentence about retail also shifts awkwardly between “they saw” and “It stayed.” Greater control of verb forms, clause boundaries, and consistent reference would improve accuracy while preserving the useful sentence variety.
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