Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

the given line graph illustrates the number of jobs in 4 different sector of the economy from 1960 and 2020 in united states.

overall, agriculture sector experienced a sky rocketed incline over the given period. Respectively manufacturing industry faced incline till 1980, However, experienced sharp decline at the end of the period.

in terms of healthcare industry started at under five million in 1960, afterwards rose sharply over 15 million

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response identifies the chart’s subject and mentions manufacturing and healthcare, but it does not provide a sufficient summary of the main features. Most importantly, the claim that agriculture “experienced a sky rocketed incline” reverses the data: employment in this sector fell from about 6 million to 2 million. Manufacturing did rise to around 20 million in 1980 and then decline, which is broadly accurate, while healthcare rose from about 2 million to roughly 16 million. Retail is not discussed, and there is no clear overview comparing the sectors or identifying the leading industries at the end. The response is also substantially below the required 150 words, leaving the task only minimally addressed. Include all four trends and a concise, accurate overview.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening sentence is followed by an overview and then a sentence about healthcare. However, the progression is incomplete, as the discussion stops before covering the remaining sectors, and the overview does not clearly connect the main comparisons. Linking expressions such as “overall” and “afterwards” show an effort to guide the reader, but “Respectively” does not establish a clear relationship between the ideas that follow it. The paragraphing is also limited, with no developed sequence of details. A clearer structure would use an introduction, a concise overview, and one or two paragraphs comparing the sector trends in chronological or grouped order.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses some relevant chart vocabulary, including “line graph,” “sector,” “incline,” “decline,” and “rose sharply,” so the topic is generally recognisable. There are also attempts at more descriptive language, such as “sky rocketed,” but this is an unsuitable and inaccurate choice for agriculture, whose figures fell. “Faced incline” is an unnatural collocation, and “4 different sector” shows limited control of number forms in word choice. The range is restricted, with little vocabulary for comparing figures or describing stable periods. Use precise, conventional expressions such as “increased,” “fell steadily,” “remained stable,” and “reached approximately” to describe the data accurately and naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts a few different sentence patterns, including an introductory clause and a contrast introduced by “However,” but control is uneven. In “the given line graph illustrates … from 1960 and 2020,” the time relationship is not expressed correctly; use “between 1960 and 2020.” The overview sentence beginning “Respectively manufacturing industry…” is not a complete, well-formed sentence, and the capitalisation after “However” disrupts the sentence structure. The final sentence, “in terms of healthcare industry started…,” lacks a clear grammatical subject construction and does not state the endpoint precisely. Use complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and check articles, plurals, punctuation, and prepositions.

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