Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph displays job opportunities in numbers in four different sectors of the market in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, retail ans healthcare sectors showed a significant increase in workforce opportunities through the years, while on the other hand manufacturing and agriculture sectors faces a major drop, nevertheless manufacturing had the most numbers of jobs between them all.

In 1980 manufacturing hit a peak of 20 million jobs after receding in 1960, then continued to fall back just below 15 million in 2020. Agriculture started with a great pace of around 5 million jobs just beefore it started to decline steadily to around 1 million jobs in 2020.

Retail started with low opportunities just to gain back its presence and hit a dramatical increase in 2020 to reach around 15 million jobs in 2020. Healthcare hit the same pattern and reached a massive resurgence of 15 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the broad contrast between rising employment in retail and healthcare and declining employment in agriculture, and you include several relevant figures. However, the overview is not fully accurate: manufacturing did not show a major drop across the whole period, since it rose from 15 million in 1960 to a peak of 20 million in 1980 before falling to about 13 million. The claim that it had the most jobs throughout is also incorrect; by 2020, retail and healthcare were both at about 16 million, above manufacturing. Some details are misreported too: agriculture began at around 6 million, not 5, and retail rose steadily rather than showing a sudden dramatic increase in 2020. A more precise overview and clearer comparisons would strengthen the report.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and separate paragraphs describing the sectors. This makes the main trends reasonably easy to follow. You also use basic linking expressions such as “Overall,” “while,” and “then.” However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. “While on the other hand” combines two contrasting linkers, and “after receding in 1960” does not clearly explain the manufacturing trend. The final two paragraphs describe sectors separately but do not compare their figures at key points, especially the equal levels of retail and healthcare in 2020. Use more precise references and link comparisons directly—for example, contrast manufacturing’s decline after 1980 with the continued growth of retail and healthcare.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of vocabulary to describe change, including “peak,” “decline steadily,” “increase,” and “resurgence,” so the main trends can generally be understood. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for a data report. “Job opportunities in numbers” and “workforce opportunities” are less precise than “number of jobs” or “employment.” “Hit a dramatical increase” is an awkward collocation, while “gain back its presence” and “massive resurgence” overstate the gradual rises shown. There are also spelling errors, including “ans” and “beefore.” Aim for neutral, precise terms such as “rose,” “fell,” “reached,” and “remained stable,” and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast in the overview and sequences describing changes over time. Most of the meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors reduce accuracy. For example, “manufacturing and agriculture sectors faces” has a subject–verb agreement error, and “manufacturing hit a peak … after receding in 1960” uses a participle in a way that obscures the sequence of events. The long overview sentence also joins several contrasting ideas without clear punctuation. Use past-tense verbs consistently for the historical data, check singular and plural agreement, and divide long sentences when they contain several separate comparisons. More controlled sentence construction would make the trends clearer.

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