Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph compares the number of jobs in four sectors in term of the economy in US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, retail and healthcare increased significantly, whereas manufacturing declined dramatically. By the end of period, retail and healthcare had become the most common, while agriculture was the least used.

Firstly, in 1960 manufacturing was common and in 1980 it was at it's peak. But after 1980 the jobs in the manufacturing decreased and in 2020 only 10 million jobs was offered in manufacturing. In 1960 jobs in retail was just 6 millions, There was a large improved in the retail after 1980 and in 2020 it was on 16 millions.

Moreover, in 1960 6 millions jobs in the agriculture and equal to the retail, and after 1960 it started drop and in 2020 only 2 millions jobs in it. Furthermore, healthcare was not common in 1960 only 2 millions jobs in it. After 1980, there was large jumped in it and became equal to the retail with 16 millions jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad patterns: retail and healthcare rise, agriculture falls, and manufacturing peaks before declining. The overview also correctly notes that agriculture ends as the smallest sector. However, several figures or descriptions do not match the graph: manufacturing ends at about 13 million, not 10 million, and it declines rather than “dramatically” after its peak of 20 million. Healthcare reaches 16 million by 2020, but it does not become equal to retail until then; the phrase “After 1980” also overlooks its steady rise from 2 million in 1960. The response covers all four sectors, but some comparisons and stages are less fully or accurately reported. Include the key values and describe the trends more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a summary of the main trends, and two body paragraphs covering the sectors. This makes the information generally easy to follow. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “Firstly,” “Moreover,” and “Furthermore” help signal progression, although the sequence can feel mechanical, and “Firstly” does not clearly introduce a comparison or grouping. Some sentences also combine several facts without clear punctuation, as in the retail sentence beginning “In 1960 jobs in retail…”. Grouping manufacturing with retail, then agriculture with healthcare, is workable, but clearer transitions between the paired trends would strengthen the progression. Use linking language selectively and make each sentence’s relationship to the previous point explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “increased significantly,” “declined,” “peak,” and “equal,” so the main information is usually understandable. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural: “in term of the economy,” “the most common” for job numbers, “a large improved,” and “large jumped.” “Common” and “used” are also imprecise when describing employment figures. These errors limit the precision and naturalness of the report, even though the intended meaning can generally be recovered. Aim for standard chart language such as “number of jobs,” “rose,” “fell,” “reached a peak,” and “stood at.” Check word forms and use collocations that describe quantities rather than popularity or use.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, and the overall meaning is generally clear. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with articles, agreement, tense, and sentence boundaries. For example, “in US” needs an article, “only 10 million jobs was offered” has a subject–verb agreement problem, and “it started drop” is missing “to.” The sentence beginning “In 1960 jobs in retail…” also has an inappropriate capital letter after a comma and needs clearer punctuation. There is some control of past-tense reporting, but forms such as “it was at it's peak” and “6 millions jobs” show inconsistent accuracy. Review verb patterns after “start,” singular/plural agreement, articles, and punctuation when joining related facts.

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