Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph compares employment in four sectors in the US over 60 years.

Overall, four types such as: Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare are included.

In this line graph, the X-axis represents year means time period and Y-axis represents jobs in millions. Initially, Manufacturing was at the top and Healthcare was at the bottom. Whereas Retail and Agriculture were both at the same level.

In starting, Healthcare was at the lowest in 1960; however, it raised steadily over the period till 2020. Meanwhile Manufacturing was at top in 1960, and it kept rising in 1980 but after that it declined till 2020. For Retail and Agriculture although both started on the same level in 1960, Retail rose steadily till 2020, crossing the Manufacturing sector. Whereas, the Agriculture sector declined steadily till 2020 hitting bottom in comparison with other three remaining sectors.

In conclusion, even though Manufacturing was at top level it decreased. Meanwhile Healthcare was at bottom initally which rose bypassing all three sectors. Lastly, Retail and Agriculture were at the same level Retail increased and Agriculture decreased.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the four sectors and report the main overall movements: manufacturing rises before declining, retail and healthcare grow, and agriculture falls. The comparisons that retail and agriculture begin at a similar level and that retail later overtakes manufacturing are relevant and broadly accurate. However, the overview is partly repetitive and does not clearly state the key end-point picture: by 2020, retail and healthcare are joint highest, while agriculture is lowest. The claim that healthcare rose “bypassing all three sectors” is inaccurate, since it only reaches the same level as retail, rather than exceeding it. Adding a few key figures, such as manufacturing’s peak at about 20 million in 1980, would make the account more fully supported and precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to descriptions of the trends, and the sectors are generally discussed in a logical way. Linking expressions such as “Meanwhile,” “however,” and “Whereas” help signal contrast. However, the overview is not sufficiently distinct from the later summary, and the final “In conclusion” repeats points already made rather than adding a clear synthesis. Some transitions are awkward or mechanically repeated, particularly the repeated use of “Whereas” and “Meanwhile.” The opening paragraph also spends space explaining the axes instead of establishing the main comparisons. Grouping the rising sectors together, then contrasting them with manufacturing and agriculture, would create clearer progression and more effective cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “employment,” “declined,” “steadily,” and “crossing,” so the main trends are usually understandable. There is some variety in how you describe change, but several choices are imprecise or unnatural for a data report. “In starting” and “at top level” are awkward, while “raised” is not the natural verb for a figure increasing; use “rose” or “increased.” “Bypassing all three sectors” also overstates the healthcare trend. Spelling errors such as “initally” reduce accuracy. Aim for precise trend language and avoid conversational or vague phrases, especially when describing rankings and comparisons.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex sentences, including clauses with “although,” “however,” and “even though.” Most of the intended meaning can be followed, but some grammatical errors and punctuation problems remain. For example, “the X-axis represents year means time period” has an unclear sentence structure, and “Healthcare was at the lowest … it raised steadily” combines an awkward construction with an incorrect verb form. In “Whereas Retail and Agriculture were both at the same level,” the dependent conjunction is used to begin a sentence without a complete main clause. The colon after “such as” is also unnecessary. Practise forming complete comparison sentences and checking tense and clause structure; this will make your range more controlled.

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