Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The data depict the number of jobs in various sectors of the economy in the United States in the year 1960 to 2020.

The line graph illustrates the manufacting has the most number of jobs from the year 1960 through the year 2000, having a 20 million jobs in the year 1980 being the highest. However, in the year 2020, it landed as the second highest with approximately 13 million jobs.

On the contrary, agriculture sector who started in rank 2 with 6 million jobs in 1960 ranked the lowest from 1980 to 2020 with an approximate of 3 million jobs in 1980 to 2000 and 2.5 million for the year 2020. For the two remaining sectors which are retail and healthcare, both landed as the highest sectors with the most number of jobs in 2020 with a recorded of 16 million jobs.

In conclusion, the graph shows that in the year 1960 to 2000 manufacturing tops all four sectors in the US that has the highest number of jobs. Whereas, healthcare and retail lead all four sectors by the year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main shift clearly: manufacturing leads through 2000, while healthcare and retail reach the joint highest level by 2020. Several figures are also reported accurately, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million and the two sectors’ 16 million jobs in 2020. This gives the response a relevant overview and covers the main comparisons. However, the account is selective and some details are unclear or imprecise: agriculture is described as starting “in rank 2,” although it was tied with retail at 6 million, and healthcare’s substantial rise from 2 to 16 million is not traced. To strengthen the report, compare the trajectories across the period and clarify the initial ranking and the crossover by 2020.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction to sector comparisons and a concluding summary. The contrast markers “However” and “On the contrary” help signal changes in direction, and the final paragraph restates the broad trend. At times, though, the organisation is more list-like than comparative: the two middle paragraphs discuss manufacturing and agriculture, then group retail and healthcare without explaining their different paths. “In conclusion” also repeats the overview rather than adding a useful synthesis. A clearer progression could group the declining or fluctuating sectors together, then describe the rising sectors, using explicit links such as “by contrast” and “while” to show how their trends differ.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant terms such as “sectors,” “approximately,” “highest,” and “ranked the lowest,” so the topic is generally clear. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations sound unnatural, including “most number of jobs,” “landed as,” and “a recorded of 16 million.” The spelling “manufacting” is also noticeable. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, but they reduce precision and naturalness. Aim for standard data-reporting language, such as “employed the most people,” “stood at,” “rose to,” and “recorded 16 million jobs.” Varying verbs for trends would also help you describe the graph more precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of sentence forms, including contrastive clauses and longer sentences, and the main message remains understandable. However, some grammatical patterns are not controlled consistently. For example, “the manufacturing has the most number” has an unnecessary article and an awkward subject construction, while “agriculture sector who started” uses an unsuitable relative pronoun and lacks an article. In “both landed as the highest sectors … with a recorded of 16 million,” the structure is incomplete or malformed. Tense and agreement also need attention when describing the graph: use consistent past forms and make the subject–verb relationship clear. Practise concise comparisons with accurate clauses, for example, “Retail and healthcare both reached 16 million jobs in 2020.”

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