Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph reports data about the total number of jobs in four major sectors of economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

At a cursory glance, jobs in Retail and Healthcare sectors have inclined from 1960 to 2020. Jobs in Manufacturing sector after a initial incline, showed decline over the years. Jobs in Agriculture sector showed a decline throughout the [redacted phone] period.

In the year 1960, jobs in the Manufacturing sector were 15 million which were the highest amongst all sectors. For the next 20 years, jobs increased to 20 million, however between 1980 and 2020 jobs decreased to around 13 million. Agriculture sector had approximately 6 million jobs in 1960. Between 1960 and 1980 jobs declined, followed by a period of job numbers staying the same for 20 years. However, betwwen 2000 and 2020 agriculture sector jobs again declined to around 2 milllion.

In contrast, Retail and Healthcare sectors saw growth in number of jobs. Retail sector witnessed the highest growth between 1960 and 2000, with jobs increasing from around 6 million to 15 million. In the next 20 years, the rate of increase of jobs became less. Healthcare sector saw a constant rise in jobs between 1960 and 2020. Jobs increased from around 3 million to 16 million in a span of 60 years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You give a clear overview of the main patterns: retail and healthcare rise, manufacturing peaks before declining, and agriculture falls overall. The body supports this with relevant figures, including manufacturing’s rise to 20 million and later fall to about 13 million, and agriculture’s decline to around 2 million. The comparisons are generally accurate and cover all four sectors. One factual inaccuracy is that healthcare starts at “around 3 million”; the graph shows approximately 2 million. Also, saying retail’s “rate of increase … became less” is imprecise: it rises from 15 to 16 million after 2000, so describe the slower growth directly. These small issues do not undermine an otherwise well-selected and supported summary.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response is arranged in a clear sequence: an introduction, an overview, then details about manufacturing and agriculture followed by retail and healthcare. This grouping makes the trends easy to follow, and transitions such as “In contrast” help signal the shift between declining and rising sectors. The progression is coherent overall, though some linking is a little mechanical, with repeated references to “jobs” and several sentences beginning with sector names. The overview also repeats information that is then developed in the body. To make cohesion more flexible, combine related comparisons—for example, contrast retail and healthcare at the end by noting that both reach about 16 million in 2020, while agriculture remains far lower.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task vocabulary, including “declined,” “witnessed,” “constant rise,” and “approximately,” and the meaning remains clear. There are, however, some inaccurate or unnatural choices that limit precision. “Jobs … have inclined” is not a natural way to describe an upward trend; use “increased” or “rose.” “At a cursory glance” is unnecessarily conversational for a data summary, while “rate of increase of jobs became less” is wordy and imprecise. Spelling slips such as “betwwen” and “milllion” also reduce accuracy. Aim for concise, conventional chart language and check spelling carefully, especially in key data descriptions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and more complex structures, including the contrast in “For the next 20 years … however between 1980 and 2020…” and the time clause “In the next 20 years.” Most sentences communicate the intended trends clearly. Some grammatical errors remain, such as “a initial incline” instead of “an initial incline,” and missing articles in phrases like “in Manufacturing sector” and “Agriculture sector jobs.” The sentence “Jobs in Manufacturing sector after a initial incline, showed decline” also has awkward punctuation and sentence structure. Improve article use and punctuation, and make sure introductory phrases are integrated cleanly. These are noticeable but do not generally prevent understanding.

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