Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given line graph illustrates the the number of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agricultural and helathcare sectors of the economy in a particular country named the United sates in the years between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, intially maufacturing sector had the highest number of jobs among all three sectors and decline significantly after it reached it's peak after two decades. While retail and agriculture sectors experienced the gradualy increase throughout the years. Wheras, healthcare almost remained constant after a steady decline.

In 1960, the maufacturing accounted has the highest jobs(15), reached it's peak in the year 1980 at 20 million and sharping decline over the period reached around 13 million in the year 2020. Whereas, agriculture sector followed opposite trend intially it stands at around 6 million and gradually decline around 3 million in the year 1980 and hold the constant number of jobs in end of the year.

However, retail and healthcare sectors are experienced the similar trend over the years. Intially, the healthcare sector stands at around 2 million and increased sharply reached just above the 15 million jobs in the year 2020. Similarly, in 1960 the retail sector stands at just above the 5 million jobs and reached it's peak in the year 2020 approximately 16 million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main sectors and report several key figures, including manufacturing’s peak at 20 million and its later fall to about 13 million, as well as agriculture’s decline. However, the overview contains important inaccuracies: retail did not rise throughout the whole period, since it rose steadily, while agriculture declined rather than increased. The claim that healthcare “almost remained constant after a steady decline” reverses its strong upward trend. Some details are also imprecise: healthcare reached about 16 million, not “just above 15,” and agriculture ended at around 2 million, not a constant 3 million. To improve, give an accurate overview of the contrasting trends and compare the two leading sectors at the end.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and two detail paragraphs. Grouping manufacturing with agriculture, then retail with healthcare, gives the reader a basic route through the data. However, progression is weakened by the inaccurate overview and by links that do not express the relationships clearly. For example, “While retail and agriculture sectors experienced…” conflicts with the data, and “However” does not establish a clear contrast between the final two sectors. Repeated use of “Whereas,” “Similarly” and “Initially” also makes cohesion feel mechanical. Organise the overview around the actual contrasts—manufacturing’s rise and fall, agriculture’s decline, and growth in retail and healthcare—then use comparisons that accurately connect each detail.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “peak,” “decline,” “gradually” and “increased sharply,” and the reader can generally identify the sectors and trends you intend to describe. However, the range and control are limited by repeated wording and noticeable spelling and word-choice errors, such as “maufacturing,” “helathcare,” “intially” and “gradualy.” Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise: “the highest jobs,” “hold the constant number of jobs” and “sharping decline” do not describe the data clearly. Use standard forms such as “number of jobs,” “remained stable” and “fell sharply.” More precise verbs and accurate sector names would make the report easier to follow and more appropriate to an academic summary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple statements and longer sentences, but complex constructions are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some passages difficult to read. For example, “the manufacturing accounted has the highest jobs” combines incompatible verb forms, while “the retail and healthcare sectors are experienced” uses an incorrect verb construction. There are also problems with articles, agreement and sentence boundaries, as in “agriculture sector followed opposite trend intially it stands…” The overview sentence beginning “While retail…” is a fragment, and the final clause about agriculture does not clearly specify when the figure remained stable. Practise forming complete sentences with consistent past-tense verbs, and check articles, agreement and punctuation when joining clauses.

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