Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph below demonstrats information about the number of in four sectors of the economy is the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, manufacturing jobs was highest in econmy but slightly go down although retail jobs increases gradually with a passage of time on the other side agriculture jobs fewer decrease over the period and healthcare was boom increase between that time.

Futhermore, manufacturing in 1960 had 15 million jobs and increasing till 1980 to 20 million jobs and sudden declined from 20 million job to 13 million jobs in 2020 but other side healthcare situation in 1960 had 3 million jobs however increasing gradually and stand on 15.1 million in 2020.

Moreover, retail in 1960 at 6 million jobs and boom with a passage of time and stay in 2020 at 15.1 million jobs although agriculture in 1960 at the 6 million job but slight decline in 1980 6 million to 3 million jobs and stay same in 2000 howover in 2020 it decreasing fewer jobs at 2 million jobs

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main movements and provide a clear overall summary: manufacturing rises to a peak before declining, retail grows, agriculture falls, and healthcare expands. Most reported figures are close to the chart, including manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and agriculture ending at about 2 million. The response also makes relevant comparisons across the period. Some details are less precise: healthcare begins at 2 million, not 3, and ends at about 16 million rather than 15.1; retail finishes at about 16 million, not 15.1. The overview’s claim that manufacturing “was highest” needs qualification, since retail and healthcare are level with it by 2020. More precise comparisons and a clearer account of the final ranking would strengthen the report.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and further paragraphs describing the sectors. Its sequencing broadly follows the timeline, and linking expressions such as “Overall,” “Furthermore,” and “Moreover” help signal progression. However, the connections are sometimes mechanical, and several long sentences combine contrasting trends without clear punctuation or boundaries. For example, the final sentence moves from retail to agriculture through “although,” making the relationship between the two descriptions difficult to follow. The overview also groups trends together without clearly distinguishing the sectors’ relative positions at the end. Use separate sentences for each comparison, and organise the details into clearer groups—for example, manufacturing and agriculture, then retail and healthcare—to make the progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “declined,” “gradually,” and “million jobs,” and the reader can generally understand which trends you mean. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for a formal data report. “Boom increase” and “boom with a passage of time” are not suitable collocations; “rose sharply” or “increased steadily” would be clearer. “Agriculture jobs fewer decrease” also obscures the intended downward trend, while “stand on” is an awkward way to describe a final figure. Spelling errors such as “demonstrats,” “econmy,” and “Futhermore” further reduce precision. Aim for standard trend language and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts to connect ideas with clauses using “although,” “however,” and “but,” but sentence structures are often faulty, and errors sometimes make relationships or meanings unclear. For example, “manufacturing jobs was highest” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “healthcare situation in 1960 had 3 million jobs however increasing” lacks a clear grammatical structure. Tense and verb forms are also inconsistent, as in “retail … at 6 million jobs and boom,” and several sentences run together without appropriate punctuation. These issues limit the range and control of the writing. Build accurate simple sentences first, such as “Retail employment rose from 6 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020,” then add a smaller number of correctly formed comparisons using “while” or “whereas.”

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.