Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph tracks the data about the number of employements in four sectors of the economy in the US between the time period 1962 and 2020. Overall, it is clear that the rate of jobs in retail and healthcare rose considerably. However, other two sectors faced a downward trend.

Initially, the rate of jobs in retail surged year by year started from around 5% in 1960 and climbed to 15% in 2000. In the last 20 years, the rates approximately levelled off. However, in 1960, the healthcare rate was 3%. It surged in the following years. In 2020, it reached almost 15%. It was the least common sector of the economy in the US.

On the other hand, the rate of manufacturing and agriculture dropped slightly. The rate of manufacturing was 15 in 1960. The hightest rate as compares to the others. It increased in the next year and then it started to declined from 1980 and reached just over 10% in 2020. Moreover, The proportion of agriculture also experienced a declined in 1960. In 1980, its rate remained stable and bottomed out to just under 5 in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You provide a clear overview of the broad contrast: retail and healthcare rise, while manufacturing and agriculture decline overall. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and retail reaching 15 million in 2000. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear. Retail did not level off in the final period; it rose slightly from about 15 to 16 million. Healthcare reached about 16 million in 2020 and was joint highest with retail, not the least common sector. Manufacturing peaked at 20 million in 1980 before falling, while agriculture declined from 6 to 2 million. More precise comparisons and a corrected account of these endpoints would make the key features clearer and more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an overview to rising sectors and then declining sectors. Paragraphing helps separate these groups, and transitions such as “Overall” and “On the other hand” make the broad contrast easy to follow. However, some links are mechanical or do not accurately signal the relationship: “However” introduces healthcare after retail even though both rise, and “Moreover” begins the agriculture point without clearly connecting it to the manufacturing comparison. References such as “the rate” are repeated and sometimes make it unclear whether you mean jobs or a percentage. Organise each sector’s changes in a consistent chronological sequence and use clearer references to improve progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, including “surged,” “climbed,” “levelled off,” “downward trend” and “bottomed out.” These choices show an effort to describe change rather than simply list figures. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate for this graph: “rate of jobs” and “proportion of agriculture” suggest percentages, although the chart reports numbers of jobs in millions. “Employements” is misspelled, and “experienced a declined” uses the wrong form. Repetition of “rate” also limits precision. Choose terms such as “number of jobs,” “employment,” and “sector” consistently, and check spelling and word forms to make the description more natural and exact.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including the contrast in “Overall, it is clear that…” and the time clause “In the last 20 years…”. Meaning is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “It increased in the next year and then it started to declined” has an incorrect verb form after “started to”; “The hightest rate as compares to the others” is not a complete, well-formed sentence; and “In 1980, its rate remained stable and bottomed out…” combines ideas in a confusing structure. There are also inconsistent articles and punctuation, including the unnecessary capital in “Moreover, The”. Practise complete sentences and accurate verb patterns while retaining your attempts at varied structures.

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