Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph below illustrates the information about the numbers of jobs in the US from 1960 to 2000 in four sectors (Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare) of the economy.

Overall, Healthcare and retail recorded for the highest number of jobs although manufacturing faced a significant decrease and ended with second position. In addition, Agriculture showed a typical figure across the period.

In 1960, Retails figure was approximately 3 million jobs but after 1960 it increased and finished it at about 16 million in 2020. In contrast, Manufacturing used to be the highest number in 1960 however it faced a decline after 1980 and ended its proportion at around 14 million in 2020.

In 1960, Healthcare started with about 6 million but after 1960 it also showed a significant rise and finished at roughly 16 million in 2020.Finally, agriculture showed a fall after 1960 and with fluctuating its figure finished at approximately 3 million jobs in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify several relevant trends, including manufacturing’s rise to a peak before declining and the growth of retail and healthcare. However, some key figures are misreported: retail began at about 6 million, not 3 million, while healthcare began at about 2 million, not 6 million. Agriculture ended at roughly 2 million rather than 3 million. The overview also says healthcare and retail recorded the highest numbers, but this is not true across the whole period; manufacturing was highest until 2000, and retail and healthcare reached about 16 million by 2020. The opening also gives the period as ending in 2000, despite discussing 2020. More accurate figures and a clearer summary of the changing rankings would make the report more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview and two paragraphs describing the series. This gives the information a coherent overall arrangement, and contrasts such as “In contrast” help signal comparisons. However, the progression is not always clear because the overview’s claim about the highest-employment sectors is imprecise, and the body paragraphs group trends without consistently comparing them at the same dates. Some linking is mechanical, particularly the repeated “In 1960” and “after 1960.” The final sentence also runs into the preceding text without a space after “2020.” Organising the details around the main rises and falls, and using clearer time references, would improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “significant decrease,” “decline,” “increased” and “fluctuating,” so the main trends are generally understandable. There are also attempts at more formal reporting language. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural: “recorded for the highest number,” “ended its proportion,” and “showed a typical figure” do not express the intended ideas clearly. “Retails figure” is also an incorrect form for the sector’s figure. These choices sometimes make the description less precise, especially when reporting rankings and final values. Aim for standard chart language such as “stood at,” “reached a peak,” and “remained relatively stable,” ensuring that each phrase accurately describes the data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast clause beginning “although” and a sentence using “however.” Most of the intended meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “Healthcare and retail recorded for” has an incorrect verb pattern, and “In 1960, Healthcare started with about 6 million” omits the noun needed after the quantity. The phrase “after 1960 it also showed a significant rise and finished” has unclear tense and reference, while “and with fluctuating its figure finished” is not a well-formed clause. Punctuation is also inconsistent, including the missing space after “2020.” Use complete clauses and check verb patterns and sentence boundaries to improve accuracy.

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