Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The chart illustrates employment rates in four sectors of economy;manufacturing ,retail,agriculture and healthcare in the USA between 1960 and 2020.

Ovelall,manufacturing was at its peak in 1960 and continued to grow until 1980.Contrary to that ,healthcare was lowest among all four.What is interesting here is agriculture and retail were at same percentage in the first year.

First,manufacturing in its first years rose until 1980 reached 20 million after that it got a sharp decline and was recorded lowest in year 2020 which was 17 million.Following that retail continued it's increase and became highest in year 2020 around16 million same as healthcare.There was a noteable decline in agriculture throughout the year finally reaching lowest among all in year 2020 from 6 million to 3 million.

In conclusion,healthcare and manufacturing contributed highest in employment in 2020.In contrast, agriculture was recorded to have offered lowest job oppotunities among all four sectors.However manufacturing was at third position in offering jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify several relevant patterns, including manufacturing’s rise to 20 million by 1980, agriculture’s overall decline, and the growth of retail and healthcare. However, the overview contains a major factual error: manufacturing peaked in 1980, not 1960, and healthcare was not the lowest sector throughout the period. The claim that manufacturing fell to 17 million in 2020 is also inaccurate; it was about 13 million. Your final comparison says healthcare and manufacturing were both among the highest in 2020, although healthcare and retail were joint highest at around 16 million. These misreadings, together with limited coverage of the main changes, make the summary only partially successful. Check each endpoint and distinguish the overall trends from the final rankings.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, a paragraph describing trends, and a conclusion. This gives the reader some organisation, and connectors such as “Contrary to that,” “Following that,” and “In contrast” show an attempt to link comparisons. However, progression is not consistently clear because the conclusion repeats and partly contradicts earlier information, and the overview mixes trends with a detail about the first-year values. Some linking phrases are awkward or do not clearly express the relationship between ideas. Grouping the sectors by trend—for example, rising sectors together and declining sectors together—and avoiding a separate conclusion that repeats the overview would make the progression more coherent.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “peak,” “sharp decline,” “contributed,” and “job opportunities,” so the main subject is generally understandable. There are also attempts at more formal reporting language, such as “was recorded” and “continued its increase.” However, some choices are imprecise or unnatural: “employment rates” does not accurately describe the number of jobs, and “same percentage” is unsuitable for figures measured in millions. Spelling errors such as “Ovelall,” “noteable,” and “oppotunities” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise chart language and check spelling; for example, describe the figures as job numbers and say that two sectors had the same number of jobs.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, and the reader can usually follow the intended comparisons. However, control is uneven, particularly in longer sentences. For example, “manufacturing in its first years rose until 1980 reached 20 million” needs clearer clause structure, while “There was a noteable decline in agriculture throughout the year finally reaching…” has an unclear modifier and missing punctuation. There are also errors in articles and sentence boundaries, as in “in year 2020,” and inconsistent apostrophe use in “it's increase.” Use complete clauses, add commas or full stops to separate stages, and check articles and possessives. These changes would make the relationships between events easier to understand.

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