Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph compares the jobs in millions in four sectors in the US between 1960 and 2020
Overall, there was a noticeable fall in the numbers of jobs provided by the manufacturing sector whereas the healthcare saw a significant rise in the employment provided in the same period.
Manufacturing provided 15 millions jobs in 1960 compared with approximately 2.5 millions that healthcare accounted for. In 1980, Manufacturing sector reached it peak at 20 millions and fell dramatically to around 16 millions in 2000 and stood just below 15 millions in 2020
The healthcare saw an increase the amount of jobs they provided in these periods and reached it peak at around 17 millions . The provided jobs increased to 5 millions in 1980 while agriculture fell to around 3 millions in that same year. The figures for healthcare increased further to just above 10 millions in 2000 whereas agriculture remained relatively stable in this smae period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
You identify two important overall trends: manufacturing declines after its 1980 peak, while healthcare rises substantially. Several figures are also reported reasonably, including manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and healthcare at 5 million in 1980. However, the summary is only partial: retail is not discussed at all, and the final values for agriculture and healthcare are omitted. The healthcare peak is also misreported as around 17 million; the graph shows about 16 million in 2020, level with retail. Agriculture’s fall to about 2 million by 2020 is not covered. Include all four sectors and compare their end-point rankings to make the main features clearer and more complete.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details, and the paragraphs broadly group related information. Linking phrases such as “whereas,” “compared with,” and “in the same year” help show contrasts. However, progression is uneven because retail is left out and the final paragraph shifts between healthcare and agriculture without completing either series. Some references are also unclear, as in “in these periods” and “the same period.” Organise the details more systematically—for example, describe manufacturing and retail together, then agriculture and healthcare—and use clear time markers for each comparison. This would make the relationships between figures easier to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
You use an adequate range of task-related vocabulary, including “noticeable fall,” “significant rise,” “reached its peak,” and “remained relatively stable.” These expressions communicate the broad trends, and the reader can generally understand your comparisons. Some collocations and word forms are less natural, however: “jobs provided by the manufacturing sector” and “the employment provided” are awkward, while “the amount of jobs” is not an appropriate combination. There is also a spelling slip in “smae.” Choose precise chart language such as “employment in manufacturing,” “the number of jobs,” and “healthcare employment.” More accurate phrasing would make the description sound clearer and more natural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You use both simple statements and longer comparative sentences, such as “In 1980, Manufacturing sector reached it peak … and fell …,” showing some variety in sentence structure. The main trends remain understandable, but errors occur in plurals, articles, agreement, and sentence construction. Examples include “15 millions jobs,” “Manufacturing sector” without an article, “reached it peak,” and “The healthcare saw an increase the amount.” The final sentence also needs clearer grammatical framing: “agriculture remained relatively stable in this same period.” Check singular and plural forms, use articles consistently, and ensure verbs are followed by the correct structures. These corrections would improve accuracy while preserving your useful range of sentence forms.
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