Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph given in the task represents the number of jobs that were cretaed in four different sectors in the United states in the years between [redacted phone]. On the y-axis of the given graph there are the number of jobs in millions meanwhile on the X-axis there are the years from [redacted phone]. Different designes of lines are being used to represent the different sectors which includes Manaufacturing sector, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare in which different jobs were created.

To understand the flow of jobs that were created during this time in the united states we need to understand the movement of these lines.staring with the Manufacturing sectors as the graph shows in 1960 this sector produced about 15 million jobs . till the next 20 years it kept on producing more and more jobs untill 1980.This was the pinikle point of this sector in producing jobs there on we see a drop untill 2000 and further drop till 2020. secondly we have the Retail sector as the graph shows it had a very smooth start in 1960s with producing about 5 million jobs.This sector kept on producing more and more jobs untill 2000 there on it has been constatnt in producing about 15 million jobs.

Next we have the Agiculture sector initally it did produce more jobs but with passage of time it kept on failing to increase the number of jobs. lastly we have the Healthcare sector it really did not had a good start but once it did this sector kept on inceasing the production of jobs untill 2020 and goes on with the same flow.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify all four sectors and describe several broad trends, including manufacturing peaking in 1980 and healthcare rising over time. However, the overview is not clearly stated, and some key comparisons are missing or inaccurate. Retail rises from about 6 million jobs in 1960 to 16 million in 2020; it does not remain constant after 2000, as you say. Healthcare also reaches roughly 16 million by 2020, matching retail, an important comparison you omit. Agriculture declines overall from about 6 million to 2 million, rather than simply failing to increase. To strengthen the response, give a concise overview of the main changes and support each sector description with accurate figures and comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a generally understandable sequence: it introduces the graph, then discusses manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in turn. Transitions such as “secondly,” “Next” and “lastly” help signal this order. However, the opening is lengthy and repeats the task description instead of presenting the main overview, and the body reads as a series of sector-by-sector comments rather than a clearly grouped comparison. Some linking is mechanical, while phrases such as “there on” make the relationship between stages unclear. Use a separate overview paragraph, then group related trends—for example, the rising retail and healthcare figures—and use precise links such as “by contrast” and “whereas.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “drop,” “increasing” and “peak,” and the reader can generally identify the sectors being discussed. However, the range is limited and several expressions are informal or imprecise for an academic report: “kept on producing more and more jobs,” “smooth start” and “did not had a good start.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “cretaed,” “Manaufacturing,” “Agiculture” and “constatnt,” which reduce accuracy. Choose concise chart language such as “rose steadily,” “reached a peak” and “declined,” and check spelling carefully. Avoid describing job numbers as production when the graph reports employment.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example, “This was the pinikle point … there on we see a drop,” and you use time clauses such as “till the next 20 years.” However, control is uneven: “it really did not had a good start” has an incorrect verb form, and “this sector … goes on with the same flow” shifts tense and has an unclear subject relationship. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, with missing spaces after full stops and several run-on constructions. Use past tense consistently for the historical data, check subject–verb and auxiliary forms, and divide long statements into complete sentences. More accurate simple and compound structures would make the trends easier to follow.

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