Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph provides the information about the number of jobs in different sectors of the society in the US between 1960 to 2020. This graph summarises the information.

In an overview, there are different sectors namely, manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare. It was comparison between different years.

According to the line graph, number of jobs in different sectors of the economy in the US, [redacted phone]. In 1960, manufacturing employed approximately 1 million people. the figure was raised in 1980 to around 20 millions, while in [redacted phone] it was fell down in addtion it was stucked in 2020 to around in the mid of 15 millions. Meanwhile, the number of people working in retail increased steadily from about 6 millions in 1960 to approximately 11 million in 1980. healthcare showed the most remarkable growth over the 60 year period. employment in this sector started at only 2 millions in 1960 and increased to 6 million in 1980

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies the four sectors and notes that healthcare grew, but it does not provide a clear overview of the main trends or comparisons. Several figures are inaccurate: manufacturing began at about 15 million jobs, not 1 million, and its 2020 level was around 13 million rather than the mid-15 millions. Retail reached about 16 million by 2020, while healthcare rose to around 16 million; neither endpoint is reported. Agriculture is named but not described. The account also stops before covering the full period for retail and healthcare. The response is 148 words, below the 150-word minimum, and nine copied prompt words were excluded from the count. To improve, give a concise overview and accurately compare the sectors’ overall rises, falls and final levels.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic paragraph structure, with an introduction, an attempted overview and a detail paragraph, and sequencing phrases such as “In 1960” and “Meanwhile” help signal movement between points. However, the overview does not actually summarise the main patterns; it only lists the sectors and says the graph compares years. The detail paragraph then shifts between sectors without completing the comparisons, and the response ends abruptly after healthcare’s 1980 figure. Some linking is also awkward, particularly “in addition” in the manufacturing sentence. For clearer progression, organise the body by contrasting trends—for example, manufacturing and agriculture’s declines against retail and healthcare’s growth—and use transitions to connect complete comparisons.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant task vocabulary, including “employed,” “increased steadily,” and “remarkable growth,” so the reader can recognise the subject and broad trends. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms are inaccurate or unnatural: “sectors of the society” is less suitable than “sectors of the economy,” while “stucked” and “addtion” are errors. “It was comparison between different years” is also an imprecise way to describe the chart. Repeated use of “number of jobs” and “people working” limits variety, and “millions” is used where the unit should be expressed more naturally as “million jobs.” Build a small set of accurate trend verbs and comparison phrases, and check spelling and collocations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a contrast with “while” and a sentence beginning “Meanwhile.” However, errors are frequent, and some sentences are difficult to follow. For example, “between 1960 to 2020” uses an incorrect preposition pattern, and “the figure was raised” and “it was fell down” have faulty verb forms. The manufacturing sentence also lacks clear sentence boundaries and combines several ideas without a reliable structure. Capitalisation after full stops is inconsistent, as in “the figure” and “healthcare.” Practise accurate past-tense reporting and straightforward comparison clauses first; then combine them with “while” or “whereas,” checking that each clause has a clear subject and correctly formed verb.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.