Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph provides the information related to number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, retail and healthcare sectors shows a continues increase through out the years. The manufacturing sector shows some fluctuation before steady decline, while agriculture sector shows a steady results after slight decrease.

Retail and agriculture sectors initially begin with almost same number which is slightly above 5 million of jobs but ended up in going completely different direction where retail sector shows progress rise with number of jobs around 15 million till the year 2020.Whereas, the agriculture sector shows totally opposite results and stand on last among four mentioned sectors with number of jobs below 5 million by the end of 2020.

Manufacturing sector initiates with employment proportion of 15 millions, reach it peak around 1980 with highest number of jobs before showing progressive fall and ending up number of jobs between 10 and 15 million by the end.On the other side, the healthcare sector shows a gradual increase through the years and by the end of 2020 , the number of jobs just about the 15 million standing beside the retail sector.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You give a clear overview of the main patterns: retail and healthcare rise, manufacturing peaks and then declines, and agriculture ends as the smallest sector. The comparisons are relevant, and the figures are broadly consistent with the graph: manufacturing starts at about 15 million and peaks in 1980, while healthcare reaches roughly 16 million by 2020, alongside retail. To make the account more precise, report key stages and endpoints rather than relying on phrases such as “around 15 million” or “between 10 and 15 million”; manufacturing ends at about 13 million, and retail and healthcare both finish near 16 million. The description of agriculture as showing “steady results” after its initial fall is also imprecise, since it remains around 3 million before falling to about 2 million.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response is organised into an introduction, an overview and two body paragraphs, and the information generally progresses from broad trends to sector details. Grouping retail with agriculture and then manufacturing with healthcare makes the comparisons easy to follow. You also use linking expressions such as “Overall,” “Whereas” and “On the other side.” However, some connections are awkward or repetitive, and the long sentences in the body paragraphs make relationships less clear. For example, the retail–agriculture comparison runs through several clauses without clean punctuation, while “On the other side” is an imprecise transition. Use shorter, clearly punctuated comparisons and vary transitions so that each paragraph’s focus and the contrast between sectors remain easy to track.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, including “fluctuation,” “steady decline,” “gradual increase” and “employment,” and the reader can understand the main trends. However, several word choices and collocations are unnatural or imprecise, which limits the clarity and flexibility of the vocabulary. Examples include “shows a continues increase,” “steady results,” “progress rise,” and “initiates with employment proportion.” Prefer standard chart language such as “continued to rise,” “remained stable,” “rose steadily,” and “began at 15 million jobs.” There are also unnecessary or awkward phrases such as “completely different direction” and “totally opposite results.” More precise verbs and concise expressions would make the report sound more natural and analytical.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of sentence forms, including contrasts and clauses with “while,” “before” and “whereas,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, plurals and punctuation recur. For instance, “retail and healthcare sectors shows” should be “the retail and healthcare sectors show,” and “reach it peak” should be “reached its peak.” The phrase “number of jobs” often needs an article or possessive construction, while “15 millions” should use the singular unit “15 million.” Several sentences also run together, as in the retail–agriculture comparison, and spaces before punctuation are inconsistent. Check agreement and tense, use articles consistently, and divide long sentences into complete, accurately punctuated clauses.

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