Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The given line graph presents the comparison of data across four job sectors in US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing market was the most popular at the start of the period, later it got overtaken by retail and healthcare industry by a small margin. Agriculture started off at a really low percentage and continued to experience a downward trend.

Firstly looking at the highest ammount of jobs in a sector we can see from the graph that manufacturing industry peaked in 1980 with almost 20 million jobs. However, in the same year its trend diped significantly taking it from the top place to the third place during the last decade. Retail and healthcare started off with really low amount of jobs in 1960 (under 6 million), But both of these sectors rose significantly throughout the period reaching a little over 15 million jobs by the end of 2020.

Agriculture started off at the same rate as retail, but in contrast to retails upward trend agriculture trend declined dramatically hovering at 3 million jobs from 1980 to 2000. At the start of twenty first century agriculture sector went through its second small dip reaching 2 million jobs approximately over the last two decades.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing rises to a peak before declining, retail and healthcare grow, and agriculture falls. The overview also notes that manufacturing leads initially and is later overtaken, which gives the reader a useful summary. However, the comparison is not fully accurate: by 2020 retail and healthcare are level at about 16 million, rather than one overtaking the other “by a small margin.” The claim that manufacturing fell to third place “during the last decade” is also unclear; it was below retail and healthcare by 2020, but the graph only gives four dates. Some key comparisons could be developed more precisely, especially healthcare’s rise from 2 to 16 million and retail’s steady growth.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement, with an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs. Its progression from the leading sector to the growing sectors and then agriculture is generally easy to follow. Linking expressions such as “However,” “in contrast,” and “throughout the period” help show relationships between trends. At times, though, the organisation is less controlled: the first detail paragraph begins with manufacturing but then combines retail and healthcare, while the next paragraph returns to agriculture without a clear comparison of all four sectors. Phrases such as “Firstly looking” and “At the start of twenty first century” also make transitions feel somewhat mechanical. Grouping the two rising sectors together and comparing their endpoints explicitly would strengthen the progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, including “peaked,” “downward trend,” “declined,” “hovering,” and “reaching,” so the main movements are communicated clearly. There are also attempts at more descriptive phrasing, such as “rose significantly.” However, some choices are imprecise or unnatural for a statistical report: “most popular” suggests preference rather than job numbers, and “manufacturing market” does not accurately name the sector. “Really low” is informal, while “amount of jobs” is less suitable than a count expression. Spelling slips such as “ammount” and “diped” also reduce accuracy. More precise, consistently formal vocabulary would make the account clearer and more appropriate to Academic Task 1.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex forms, including contrast clauses (“but in contrast to…”) and participle constructions (“reaching a little over 15 million”). Most sentences remain understandable, and the range is sufficient to describe changes over time. Some grammatical and punctuation errors persist, however. For example, “Retail and healthcare started off with really low amount” needs a plural or count construction, and “agriculture trend declined” needs a possessive determiner. The sentence beginning “However, in the same year” has an unclear reference and awkward structure, while the capital “But” after a comma creates faulty punctuation. Check articles, possessives, and sentence boundaries, and make references to years and sectors explicit.

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