Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph illustrats the comparsion between the 4 main profession of USA that is Manufacturing, retail, agriculture and health care over the period of 60 years. Health care profession is increased in every other decade and still shows improvement in jo

Jobs in Manufacturing industry always been given in millions which start declining from 2000 till 2020 accept the years of 1980s whcih shows dramatic increase of job uptil 20 millions. As compared to health care which was very less in 1960s and gradually increases over the period of time.

In the reatil profession jobs also increaed over the period of time. It was less than 10 million jobs in 1960s which incrase in every decade , uptil 2020 jobs in retail industry is more than 15 millions. Agriculture industry shows less jobs as compared to all other professions

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify all four sectors and make relevant broad observations, including manufacturing’s peak around 1980 and the general rise in retail and healthcare. However, the response only partially reports the graph: it gives few precise comparisons, omits the key endpoint that healthcare and retail both reach about 16 million jobs in 2020, and does not clearly summarise the overall ranking or contrasting trends. The claim that healthcare increases “in every other decade” is unclear, while agriculture is described only as having fewer jobs, without noting its decline from about 6 million to 2 million. The response is also 11 words below the required minimum. Develop a clear overview and support it with accurate figures and comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation: the response moves through healthcare and manufacturing, then retail and agriculture, and uses simple links such as “As compared to” and “In the retail profession.” This gives the reader a general sense of the topics being covered. However, there is no distinct overview, and the progression between sectors is not consistently clear. The opening discussion of healthcare runs into an incomplete phrase (“still shows improvement in jo”), which interrupts the flow, and the manufacturing comparison that follows is difficult to connect to it. Grouping the trends into a clear overview followed by logically ordered details, with clearer transitions and complete sentences, would make the report easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses a small range of relevant terms, including “declining,” “dramatic increase,” and “gradually increases,” and the sector names generally make the subject understandable. However, vocabulary is repetitive and some choices are imprecise or unnatural: “profession” is repeatedly used where “sector” or “industry” is more suitable, and “shows improvement in jobs” does not clearly describe a rise in employment. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “illustrats,” “comparsion,” “reatil,” and “increaed,” which reduce the accuracy and polish of the report. Use precise trend language and check spelling carefully; for example, describe figures as rising, falling, peaking, or remaining stable.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer comparisons, such as “As compared to health care which was very less in 1960s and gradually increases over the period of time,” but the sentence is incomplete and mixes past and present tense. Other errors include “Health care profession is increased,” “Manufacturing industry always been given,” and “jobs in retail industry is,” where verb forms, missing auxiliaries, or subject–verb agreement make the meaning less clear. The response relies mainly on simple sentence patterns, and the unfinished phrase at the end of the healthcare discussion further disrupts accuracy. Practise complete sentences with consistent past-tense reporting, correct agreement, and a wider range of controlled structures, such as “while” comparisons.

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