Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

To be honest the graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy between US in 1960 to 2020. The number of all jobs not stable in every time they had increase or decrease again and again. The overview of this diagram which is increased in 1960 to 2020 is retail and healthcare because in 1960 retail is just around 6million when the time sudden flows retail jobs are significantly increased in 1980 retail jobs touched 10million. Then 2000 retail jobs are 15million and 2020 had retail jobs are around 16million. Same as healthcare in 1960 healthcare jobs are just 2million when the time changes the health care jobs are same as retail jobs 16million in 2020. But the manufacturing jobs had increase in 1980 around 20million which is good numbers but in 2000 manufacturing jobs are decreased significantly around 16million and sudden changes will be decreasing in 2020 which is around 13 to 14 millions. And the agriculture jobs are decreased in starts in 1960 agriculture have just 6million job but in 1980 agriculture have around 3 to 4 million job also such as in 2020 agriculture have around 1.5 to 2 million jobs remaining.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You report the main direction of change in all four sectors, and most figures are consistent with the graph: manufacturing peaks at about 20 million in 1980 before falling, while agriculture declines from around 6 million to about 2 million. You also identify the strong growth in retail and healthcare, including their similar endpoint of roughly 16 million. However, the overview is not clearly separated from the details, and the opening claim that all jobs repeatedly increased or decreased is vague. Some trends are less fully explained: healthcare’s steady rise and the point at which it catches up with manufacturing could be highlighted, and the 2000 manufacturing figure is closer to 17 million. A clearer overview and more selective comparisons would strengthen the report.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response follows a broadly understandable sequence, moving from retail and healthcare to manufacturing and agriculture, and time markers such as “in 1980” and “Then 2000” help readers follow the data. However, it is presented as one long paragraph, with no clear separation between an overview and supporting details. Connections are often repetitive or awkward: “Same as healthcare” and “But the manufacturing jobs” do not establish precise relationships, while “when the time” is repeated without clarifying the sequence. Grouping the two rising sectors together and the two declining or fluctuating sectors together, with distinct paragraphs and clearer linking phrases, would create a more coherent progression and reduce the impression of a list.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant chart vocabulary, including “increased,” “decreased,” “significantly,” and “touched 10million,” and the sector names make the subject clear. However, the range is limited and several expressions are imprecise or unnatural for an academic report. “Sudden flows” does not clearly describe a trend, “good numbers” is informal and evaluative, and “jobs remaining” is an awkward way to report the agriculture figure. Repeated use of “jobs” and “around” also makes the description less varied. Choose precise trend language and standard collocations, such as “rose steadily,” “reached,” “fell to,” and “employment in agriculture.” These changes would make the account more concise and appropriately formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to combine information across time using clauses with “when” and “but,” and the reader can generally identify the intended trends. However, sentence structures are often incomplete or incorrectly formed, as in “The number of all jobs not stable” and “when the time sudden flows retail jobs are significantly increased.” Verb forms and agreement also need attention: “retail jobs are 15million” should use a past-tense reporting verb, and “agriculture have” does not agree with its subject. Articles, prepositions, and punctuation are also inconsistent. Use straightforward past-tense sentences first, then add a few accurately controlled comparisons; for example, “Retail employment rose from 6 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020.”

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