Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four section the economy the America from 1960 to 2020.

Overall,it can be seen that retail and healthcare had the highest proportion of jobs sectors in America.Also,there was a two increase sector such as retail and healthcare,while, two dicrease sectors manufacturing and agriculture,of the economy in the US.

In,1960 manufacturing job sector of the economy in 15 million.On the other hand retail and agriculture is upto 6 million jobs in the economy 1960,while,healthcare is upto 3 million jobs sector of the economy.Manufacturing ,retail,healthcare are rose in 1980,by contrast, only argiculture are dicline in 1980.

Over the last decat,there was two sectors retails and healthcare increase and two sector manufacturing and agriculture are dicrease from1980 to 2020 .In 2020 we can see here retails and healthcare are 16 million jobs both are rose.Manufacturing are slightly dicrease in 13 million,while,agriculture also slightly dicline 2 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad pattern: retail and healthcare rise overall, while manufacturing and agriculture fall, and you include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 13 million in 2020, and both retail and healthcare at 16 million in 2020. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: healthcare began at about 2 million, not 3 million, and manufacturing, retail and healthcare did not all rise from 1960 to 1980, since healthcare rose but the description should distinguish its lower starting point. The overview also calls retail and healthcare the highest sectors without clarifying that manufacturing led initially. A more precise overview and clearer comparisons across the four years would make the key features more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to earlier figures and then the 2020 endpoint. This gives the reader a basic progression through the chart. However, links between ideas are sometimes mechanical or confusing: repeated uses of “while,” “by contrast” and “also” do not always show the intended relationship, and “Over the last decat” is unclear about the period being discussed. The paragraph about 1980 gives no figures for the sectors, so the progression is incomplete. Improve cohesion by grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, and use clear time references such as “between 1980 and 2020.” Check that each contrast accurately connects the two trends.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant chart vocabulary, including “line graph,” “jobs,” “increase,” “decrease” and “million,” so the topic is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms are inaccurate or repetitive, including “two increase sector,” “dicrease,” “dicline,” “retails” and “argiculture.” Phrases such as “highest proportion of jobs sectors” and “jobs sector of the economy” are also unnatural and make some comparisons harder to follow. Aim for precise trend language and natural collocations, for example “the number of jobs rose,” “employment declined,” and “the sector employed 15 million people.” Proofreading spelling and avoiding repeated use of “slightly” would improve clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with contrasts, such as “On the other hand…” and “while…”. The overall meaning can usually be followed, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “manufacturing job sector of the economy in 15 million” is missing a verb, while “retail and agriculture is” has a subject–verb agreement problem. Articles, plurals and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “two sectors … increase” and the run-on construction “In 2020 we can see here…”. Use complete clauses with consistent past-tense verbs: “Manufacturing employed 15 million people in 1960,” and “Retail and healthcare both rose to 16 million by 2020.” More accurate sentence patterns would make your comparisons easier to read.

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